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10th Grade202432 Stories4th of July99 DaysA Change in AltitudeA Demon in My ViewA Dream of WolvesA Falling KnifeA Finely Tuned Apathy MachineA Heart of StoneA Life Lived RidiculouslyA Multitude of SinsA Parting GiftA Question of BloodA Quiet PlaceA Red Heart of MemoriesA River SutraA Short History of Tractors in UkrainianA Slight Trick of the MindA Stir of BonesA Thousand Miles from NowhereA Voyage Long and StrangeA Wedding in December About a BoyAbraham LincolnAcross the River and Into the TreesActs of GodActs of InfidelityAfrican PsychoAfter DarkAfter YouAfter You'd GoneAfterwardsAgenda for MurderAliens in the Prime of Their LivesAll Alone in the UniverseAll Families Are PsychoticAll in the MindAll the Way HomeAltered LandAlternatives to SexAmanda's WeddingAmelia RulesAmericaAmerica AmericaAmnesiaAmong the DepartedAn Object of BeautyAngelsAngry Youth Comix #2AnimosityAnne SextonAre You Experienced?Aristotle and Poetic JusticeAristotle DetectiveArlington ParkArtemis FowlAs Hot as It Was You Ought to Thank MeAsking For MurderAsymmetryAtonementAway Laughing on a Fast CamelBabylon and Other StoriesBad BoyBad SeedBag Of BonesBalancing ActsBarbara the Slut and Other PeopleBeach RoadBeat the ReaperBeautiful GirlsBed of RosesBefore I Go to SleepBefore the FrostBeg the QuestionBeginner's GreekBellyBeneath the SkinBenedictionBest New American VoicesBig BrotherBilly and GirlBiteBlack & WhiteBlack HelicoptersBlack Market TruthBlameBlanketsBleed for MeBlind SightBlonde FaithBlood, Salt, WaterBlueprints for Building Better GirlsBody SurfingBoneMan's DaughtersBoneyardBoneyardBoomsdayBorder CrossingBoth Ways Is the Only Way I Want ItBoysBracketBrain TrustBrava, ValentineBreaking Out of BedlamBreathing UnderwaterBrick LaneBridge of SighsBridget JonesBridget Jones's DiaryBrief Interviews with Hideous MenBring Them HomeBruisesBrŁselBullyBurn, Bitchy, BurnButterflyBy BloodBy The Sea ShoreCalled to KillCanadaCanvasCaricatureCase HistoriesCellCemetery DanceChange of HeartChangesChasing the DimeChild 44Cinema PanopticumCinnamon KissCirceCircle NineCity of the LostClay's WayClose toYouClose Your EyesCloud 9 AffairCoincidenceCold CaseCold HitCold in HandCollected StoriesCome Up and See Me SometimeComfort and JoyCompulsionConfessions of a ShopaholicConfessions of an Ex-GirlfriendConsider LoveCouch FictionCrispinCross CountryCruddyCrumpleCutCypherDaddy's GirlsDakotaDamageDancing After HoursDanger in High PlacesDanger! Cross CurrentsDante's PoisonDante's WoodDarkest FearDating Without NovocaineDead BoysDead Canaries Don't SingDead EndDead EvenDeadly AdviceDeadly ButterflyDeadly GambleDeaf SentenceDear American AirlinesDear Zoe,Death of a Department ChairDeath of an AddictDeath with InterruptionsDeath Without TenureDeceitDecemberDeceptionDefending JacobDeliverance From EvilDemonologyDepraved HeartDictatorDisobedienceDisturbing GroundDivine JusticeDivisaderoDixie RoadDon't Wake UpDr. Jekyll & Mr. HydeDriftlessDuplicityEcstasyEmerald City BluesEmpire FallsEmpress of the WorldEnd over EndEven DeadlierEven Dogs in the WildEvenings at FiveEvery Note PlayedEvery Visible ThingEye ContactFacesFaking ItFalling ManFamily and Other CatastrophesFamily HistoryFascinationFat Angie Fear of the DarkFeeling Sorry for CeliaFellsideFeminist Philosophy And Science FictionFever 1793Field of BloodFinal JeopardyFlashpointFlat Lake in WinterFlorid StatesForgive the MoonFortunate SonFortune's RocksFour Blind MiceFour CornersFred the ClownFrom Girls to GrrlzFull DisclosureGallatin CanyonGaudi AfternoonGenerosityGeorgia Under WaterGhost at the WindowGiftedGiganticGirl in TranslationGirl Walking BackwardsGirls Closed InGirls Like UsGod HeadGod Is DeadGod Is Not OneGods and BeastsGoldengroveGone GirlGood and GoneGood GriefGrace, Tamar and Laszlo the BeautifulGuises of DesireHalf In Love With DeathHappiness Sold SeparatelyHappy FamilyHappy Mutant Baby PillsHappy Now?HarleyHarry Potter and the Sorcererís StoneHe Counts Their TearsHeartbeatHeftHell's IslandHey, Wait...High HeatHolidays On IceHope in a JarHot MilkHotel on the Corner of Bitter and SweetHotel WorldHotels of North AmericaHouse of JavaHow a Gunman Says GoodbyeHow People ChangeHow to Be GoodHow to Set a Fire and WhyHow to Stop TimeHug MeI Can See YouI Don't Know How She Does ItI'd Know You AnywhereI'm Traveling AloneIf I Fall, If I DieIf You StayImagine Me GoneImposter for HireIn ZanesvilleInfinite JestIngloriousInnocentInnocent WorldInnocentsInspired SleepInvisibleIronshoreIs This What Other Women Feel Too?It Takes OneIt's Love We Don't UnderstandIt's Not Me, It's YouJacob Have I LovedJimmy CorriganJohn Dies at the EndJournal d'une femme adultŤreJust LifeKhalifahKick the Animal OutKicking the SkyKim: Empty InsideKisscutKissing DoorknobsKissing in AmericaKnife CreekKnockout MouseLambLast Chance SaloonLast NightLaura Numeroff's 10-Step Guide to Living with Your MonsterLawnboyLayoverLeft NeglectedLeisureLeo the Lightning BugLeslie's JournalLet Me Be Frank With YouLie to MeLies My Girlfriend Told MeLife After LifeLife ClassLife Is a Strange PlaceLife of PiLike the Red PandaLike You'd Understand, AnywayLikely to DieLillian in LoveLisa, Bright and DarkLisey's StoryListen to the SilenceLithium for MedeaLittle Black LiesLittle ChildrenLittle LitLittle ScarletLiíl SantaLonerLord of the FliesLosing JuliaLostLost GirlLost in the ForestLost Memory of SkinLove and Shame and LoveLove in the AsylumLove Songs for the Shy and 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SongwriterThe Sorrows of an AmericanThe Sound of Broken GlassThe Speed AbaterThe Speed of DarkThe Spinoza ProblemThe Stethoscope CureThe Stone GodsThe Story HourThe Story of Beautiful GirlThe Sudden Arrival of ViolenceThe Summer ChildrenThe Sweet Relief of Missing ChildrenThe Sweetness at the Bottom of the PieThe SyndromeThe Tenth CircleThe Tenth JusticeThe Third AngelThe Time Traveler's WifeThe Torn SkirtThe TouristThe Trick Is to Keep BreathingThe Trouble with Goats and SheepThe Troubled ManThe Undertaker's WifeThe Unexpected Inheritance of Inspector ChopraThe Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia MossThe UnnamedThe UnquietThe Unseen WorldThe Usual MistakesThe Vanishing Act of Esme LennoxThe VegetarianThe Virgin BlueThe Virgin CureThe Water ChildrenThe WaveThe Weed That Strings the Hangman's BagThe Whole TruthThe Wide WindowThe Wild Assís SkinThe Witch ElmThe Woman and the ApeThe Woman UpstairsThe Wrong Side of GoodbyeThe Year of the FloodThe Year That FollowsTherapyThere Are No EldersThings You Didnt SeeThings You Should KnowThinks...Third Class SuperheroThirty NothingThis Beautiful LifeThis Body of DeathThose GirlsThose Who Wish Me DeadThumbsuckerTimothy Tunny Swallowed a BunnyTina's MouthTiny DeathsTisToby's RoomTony & SusanToo Much HappinessTooth and NailTouchTouching Spirit BearTouchy SubjectsTrailer GirlTransparencyTraumaTreacherous LoveTrespassTriburbiaTrust ExerciseTucker PeakTuringTwentieth Century EightballTwinmakerTwo Can PlayTwo Little Girls in BlueUnaccustomed EarthUnder Rose-Tainted SkiesUnder the DamUnder the HarrowUnder the InfluenceUnfitUnholy StoriesUniversal HarvesterUnkemptUnlessUp in FlamesUp in the AirUpstateVacuum in the DarkValenciaVenus DriveVeronika Decides to DieVery ValentineViolet & ClaireVisits from The Drowned GirlVoid MoonWaiting for SunriseWakeWarlightWastelandWatching the DarkWe Are All Completely Beside OurselvesWe Are OkayWelding with ChildrenWell-Remembered DaysWemberly WorriedWhat Became of UsWhat It Means to Love YouWhat 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The Master Bedroom, Tessa Hadley's 2007 novel, opens with a denial. "It was not a sign." That statement, and the negative proclamations that follow it ("Kate refused to let it be a sign. She hated driving anyway.") set the stage for a story that is rife with negation and denial, flirting with the supernatural while never quite resolving its ambiguities, and, nevertheless, intriguing in both its simplicity and its depth, as it delves into the emotional and existential states of a middle-aged woman retreating from the life she has built and grasping, sometimes amateurishly, at other possibilities.
Hadley's prose, as always, is clear, direct, and insightful, and her story moves forward with a smooth rapidity that compels the reader's interest in spite of a not-always-sympathetic heroine.
The first characters we meet--the protagonist Kate, who is leaving her university job in London, mostly out of boredom, to return to her birthplace in Cardiff, Wales, and move in with her elderly mother; and Suzie, the wife of a childhood friend of Kate's--are actively ignoring each other. There's been a car accident, involving Suzie and a swan, which both women imbue with mystical meaning, but they assiduously avoid seeking any sort of connection with, or comfort from, each other even in this disturbing circumstance.
Kate is by turns both vain and depressingly self-deprecating; she can be selfish and careless, and sometimes worse. Although her mother, Billie, is slipping into dementia, and Kate's stated purpose for returning is to care for her, she in fact provides very little care and less compassion. The family is wealthy, and the professional housecleaning company is an off-screen character that seems to take care of most of the physical necessities, including sitting with Billie when necessary. Kate's verbal interactions with her mother are harsh and sarcastic; she is not a caregiver by nature, so the excuse of returning home because her help is needed is easily exposed.
Why, then, does she do it?
The Master Bedroom is about midlife, but perhaps not about crisis. Kate has realized a need for hiatus, which may or may not lead to review, assessment, change of direction, and/or return. She is trying to find herself by first giving up the elements of the adult "self" she has built. She takes a vague sort of leave of absence from her professorial career, sublets her flat, puts her belongings in storage, and leaves her smart, sophisticated friends behind. When she meets a group of local teenaged boys in Cardiff who tell her they would never return here if they could go to London, she teases them vulgarly: "You're eager to be gone. But that's how it is. Like being born: can't wait to get out; spend the rest of your life trying to get back in." And still, she's not suited to the country life herself, either. She refers to the area as "the provinces" once, and has to be reminded that Wales is actually a country. Although she grew up here, she's far from a place in which she knows herself.
Kate is musically talented, a skilled translator with an unfinished assignment, and probably a passable writer, but is unmotivated to work at anything; She seems to want to do nothing, as if losing all is a necessary step on the way to finding something.
The involuntary, unexpected physical changes of the forties, are, of course, responsible for much of the confusion, dismay, and changed behavior that erupts in certain people around this time. Kate refers to herself as old, and wrinkled, and skinny, and dry; she leaves shocks of white in her hair. And yet she has not given up on the idea of finding meaning through seduction. Even in her general passivity, she eagerly, aggressively, and with little regard for the destruction it will bring to others, pursues sexual liaisons with both a married man and a confused, lonely boy (with him, she disingenuously protests that he is doing all the pursuing); and she continues to string along, whenever it is convenient for her and her alone, an old flame who has married someone else after having been rejected by her. At times, it feels as if she thinks her advanced age excuses her from all morality. At others, it seems that she can't quite imagine her slight self being consequential enough to cause serious effects on others.
One of the book's most powerful moments occurs when Kate meets again, after many years, the mother of a friend of hers who committed suicide at twenty-six. Kate realizes that the other woman is disconcerted to see how old she has gotten. Her daughter's life was frozen at twenty-six, but the daughter's contemporaries have continued to move on, using up their imperfect lives, and they no longer carry the sense of promise and possibility she imagined for them. Seeing all this in the eyes of the older woman, "Kate had a chilly vision of herself on the slope down from summits that had hardly happened."
It may be that she never reached her summits because, in the momentum and general busyness of youth, she never thought about which way to head.
The Master Bedroom reminds us that many of life's momentous events appear as accidents we create for ourselves, half (or more) unwittingly. From the automobile accident in the opening scene to the "accidental" pregnancy that propels her choices at the end, Kate moves through this interval in her life uncertain about what she is seeking and yet finding it anyway.
The other players in her drama will pull through, most likely, without too much damage. Just as David, the married father, is on the verge of committing himself to Kate and destroying his family, circumstances begin to shift around him and he realizes that, "Whatever he had imagined . . . he must keep at bay. It was the kind of mess that women like Kate made." His tormented son, Kate's other lover, goes away to spend some time with a strong grandmother and work on his university applications, while David moves back into the double bed he used to share with his wife, "relieved and grateful."
Kate ultimately heads for the new world, literally full of hope and possibility for the future, walking on shoes that are impractical, gorgeous, a little eccentric, and exactly what she likes.
© First Serial rights 2009 Heather C. Liston
Heather Liston is a free lance writer based in San Francisco