email page print pageAll Topic Reviews
"Are You There Alone?""How Come Boys Get to Keep Their Noses?""My Madness Saved Me"10% Happier365 Days49 Up56 UpA Beautiful MindA Beautiful MindA Beautiful MindA Book of ReasonsA Can of MadnessA Child's Life and Other StoriesA Dangerous LiaisonA Fight to BeA First-Rate MadnessA Good Enough DaughterA Heartbreaking Work of Staggering GeniusA Lethal InheritanceA Lethal InheritanceA Life ShakenA Life Worth LivingA Little PregnantA Message from JakieA Million Little PiecesA Numerate LifeA Pocket History of Sex in the Twentieth CenturyA Slant of SunA Special EducationA Tribe ApartAbout FaceAddicted Like MeADHD & MeAEIOUAgainst Medical AdviceAgents in My BrainAileen - Life and Death of a Serial KillerAlgernon, Charlie and IAll Out!All Seasons PassAll That You Leave BehindAlphavilleAlways Too Much And Never EnoughAlzheimer'sAn Anthropologist on MarsAn EducationAn Unquiet MindAngela's AshesAngelheadAnna Freud: A BiographyAnnie's GhostsAnother Bullshit Night in Suck CityAnthology of a Crazy LadyApples and OrangesApproaching NeverlandAre You There, Vodka? It's Me, ChelseaAs I Live and BreatheAs Nature Made HimAt Home in the Heart of AppalachiaAt the End of WordsAvalancheBad BoyBad GirlBeautiful BodiesBeautiful BoyBeautiful WreckBecause We Are BadBecoming AnnaBecoming MyselfBen Behind His VoicesBequest and BetrayalBereftBertrand RussellBlackoutBlanketsBloodlettingBodies in Motion and at RestBoneBorn on a Blue DayBoyBoy AloneBoyleBrain on FireBreaking ApartBreaking the SilenceBrokenBulimics on BulimiaBuzzCamus and SartreCharles DarwinChasing the HighCheeverCherryCity of OneCluesClumsyComfortComplications Compulsive ActsConfessions of a Cereal EaterConfessions of a Former ChildConfessions of a Grieving ChristianConfessions of the Other MotherConfidingConquering the Beast WithinContesting ChildhoodCrackedCrazyCry Depression, Celebrate RecoveryDamned to EternityDancing at the Shame PromDante's CureDaughter of the Queen of ShebaDavid Sedaris Live at Carnegie HallDays With My FatherDefeating the VoicesDementia Caregivers Share Their StoriesDepression and NarrativeDescartesDetourDevil in the DetailsDiagnosis: SchizophreniaDirty DetailsDirty SecretDivided MindsDivine MadnessDon't Get Too ComfortableDown Came the RainDress Your Family in Corduroy and DenimDrinkingDriving My FatherDrunkardDryEarly Embraces IIIEarly ExposuresEinsteinEinstein and OppenheimerElectroboyElegy for IrisElijah's CupElliott Smith and the Big NothingElsewhereEnough About YouEpilepticEvery Girl Tells a StoryEverything In Its PlaceExamined LivesExiting NirvanaFaces of Huntington'sFamily BoundFast GirlFearless ConfessionsFind MeFinding Iris ChangFirst Person Accounts of Mental Illness and RecoveryFirst Person PluralFixing My GazeFlanneryFolie a DeuxFor the Love of ItFortress of My YouthFrank Ramsey (1903-1930)Franz KafkaFraudFree RefillsFreudFreudFreudFriedrich NietzscheFrom Joy Division to New OrderFumblingFun HomeFuriously HappyGalileo Get Me Out of HereGetting OffGirl in Need of a TourniquetGirl Walking BackwardsGirl, InterruptedGirl, InterruptedGirls on the VergeGoing BlindGoing Through Hell Without Help From AboveGraysonGrowing Up JungGuttedHalf a Brain Is EnoughHardcore from the HeartHead CasesHeal & ForgiveHeal & Forgive IIHeavier than HeavenHeinz KohutHeinz KohutHello from Heaven!Hello to All ThatHer HusbandHer Last DeathHigh PriceHole in My LifeHolidays On IceHolidays on IceHope's BoyHouse of Happy EndingsHouse of Happy EndingsHow I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill MeHow to Lose Friends & Alienate PeopleHow to Make Love Like a Porn Starhow to stop timeHumeHumeHunger Makes Me a Modern GirlHurry Down SunshineI Am Dynamite!I Am I Am I AmI Feel Bad About My NeckI Never Promised You a Rose GardenI Remain in DarknessI'd Rather Eat ChocolateI'd Rather LaughIf I Die Before I WakeImagining RobertIn Search of FatimaIn the Realms of the UnrealIn the Wake of SuicideInside TherapyInternInvisible No MoreIt Happened to NancyIt Takes a Worried ManJack Cole and Plastic ManJean-Paul SartreJohn Stuart MillJourneys with the Black DogJust CheckingKafkaKantLa SierraLab GirlLast Flight OutLearning to FallLet Me Make It GoodLife As We Know ItLife InterruptedLife ReimaginedLimboLincoln's MelancholyListening in the Silence, Seeing in the DarkLittle PeopleLive For Your Listening PleasureLive Through ThisLiving in the Shadow of the Freud FamilyLiving With SchizophreniaLiving with SchizophreniaLockeLonelyLong ShotLook Me in the EyeLooking for The StrangerLoose GirlLosing Mum and PupLosing My MindLove Is a Mix TapeLove SickLove Times ThreeLove Works Like ThisLove You, Mean ItLuckyLudwig WittgensteinLyingMad HouseMad PrideMadame ProustMadnessMagical ThinkingMalignant SadnessManicMarcel ProustMarcus AureliusMary BarnesMaverick MindMaybe You Should Talk to SomeoneMe Talk Pretty One DayMeaningMelanie KleinMemoirMemoirs of an Addicted BrainMemoirs of My Nervous IllnessMen-ipulationMisconceptionsMiss American PieMockingbird YearsMomma and the Meaning of LifeMommies Who DrinkMonkey MindMore, Now, AgainMortificationMy Age of AnxietyMy Body PoliticMy Brain Tumour AdventuresMy DepressionMy Father's HeartMy First Cousin Once RemovedMy Flesh and BloodMy Horizontal LifeMy Life Among the Serial KillersMy Sister LifeMy Stroke of InsightName All the AnimalsNeural MisfireNever EnoughNietzscheNietzsche: The Man and His PhilosophyNinety DaysNo Apparent DistressNo Hurry to Get HomeNo Impact ManNo More ShavesNo One Cares About Crazy PeopleNolaNotebooks 1951-1959NothingOdd Girl Speaks OutOedipus WreckedOf Spirits & MadnessOn Being RapedOn the Edge of DarknessOn the MoveOne Hour in ParisOne Hundred DaysOphelia SpeaksPagan TimePassing for NormalPeople Who Eat DarknessPerfect ChaosPerfect ExamplePermanent Present TensePersepolisPlanet of the BlindPlaying with FirePlease Don't Kill the FreshmanPoisoned LovePollockPOPismPortraits of Huntington'sPoster ChildProzac DiaryPsychiatrist on the RoadPsychosis in the FamilyPuppy Chow Is Better Than ProzacQuitting the Nairobi TrioRaising BlazeReasons to Stay AliveRebuiltRecovered, Not CuredRelative StrangerRescuing JeffreyRestricted AccessRevengeRewind, Replay, RepeatRichard RortyRiding the Bus With My SisterRobert Lowell, Setting the River on FireRoom For JRosemaryRough MagicRunning After AntelopeRunning with ScissorsRXScattershotSchizophreniaSchopenhauerSecond OpinionsSectionedSeeing EzraSeeing the CrabServing the ServantSet the Boy FreeSex & Single GirlsSex ObjectShakespeareShe Bets Her LifeShe Got Up Off the CouchShut the DoorSickenedSilencing the VoicesSimone de BeauvoirSinging in the FireSkin GameSlackjawSlut!SmashedSome Assembly RequiredSome Kind of GeniusSometimes Amazing Things HappenSometimes Madness Is WisdomSongs from the Black ChairSongs of the Gorilla NationSoren KierkegaardSpeak to MeSpeaking Our Minds: Revised EditionSpecial SiblingsSpentStandbyStick FigureStill LivesStretchSunset StorySurviving OpheliaSwing LowTales from Both Sides of the BrainTales of PsychotherapyTalk to HerTell Me Everything You Don't RememberTellingTelling Tales About DementiaThe Accidental BillionairesThe AddictThe Anatomy of HopeThe Anti-Romantic ChildThe Art of MisdiagnosisThe Bastard on the Couch CDThe BeastThe Bell JarThe Best Seat in the HouseThe Big FixThe Body SilentThe Boy on the Green BicycleThe Boy Who Loved Too MuchThe Boy Who Loved WindowsThe Bright HourThe Buddha & The BorderlineThe Burn JournalsThe Camera My Mother Gave MeThe Cancer Monologue ProjectThe Center Cannot HoldThe Chelsea WhistleThe Churkendoose AnthologyThe Day the Voices StoppedThe Devil WithinThe DisappearanceThe Discomfort ZoneThe Doctor Is InThe Eden ExpressThe Family GeneThe Family SilverThe Farm Colonies: Caring for New York City's Mentally Ill In Long Island's State HospitalsThe Fasting GirlThe First Man-Made ManThe First TimeThe Geography of BlissThe Glass CastleThe Good DoctorsThe Hillside Diary and Other WritingsThe Incantations of Daniel JohnstonThe Infidel and the ProfessorThe Last AsylumThe Last Good FreudianThe Last Time I Wore a DressThe Liars' ClubThe Lives and Loves of Daisy and Violet HiltonThe Lives They Left BehindThe LobotomistThe Long GoodbyeThe Looked After Kid: Memoirs from a Children's HomeThe Loony-Bin TripThe Madness of Our LivesThe Making of a PhilosopherThe Making of Friedrich NietzscheThe Man Who Couldn't EatThe Man Who Shocked the WorldThe Man Who Tasted ShapesThe Marvelous Hairy GirlsThe Maximum Security Book ClubThe Me in the MirrorThe Memory PalaceThe Mercy PapersThe Mistress's DaughterThe Mother of Black HollywoodThe Naked Bird WatcherThe Naked Lady Who Stood on Her HeadThe Neuroscientist Who Lost Her MindThe Night of the GunThe Noonday DemonThe Notebook GirlsThe NursesThe Only Girl in the CarThe Only Girl in the WorldThe Orchid ThiefThe Other HollywoodThe OutsiderThe Philosopher's Autobiography The Philosophical Breakfast ClubThe Philosophical IThe Pits and the PendulumThe Pornographer's GriefThe Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner The Professor and the MadmanThe Psychopath TestThe Quiet RoomThe Quiet RoomThe RecoveringThe Red DevilThe Rescue of Belle and SundanceThe Ride TogetherThe Rules of the TunnelThe Secret of LifeThe Shaking Woman or A History of My NervesThe Shared HeartThe Shiniest JewelThe Siren's DanceThe Statistical Life of MeThe Story of My FatherThe Strange Case of Hellish NellThe Summer of a DormouseThe SurrenderThe Talking CureThe Thought that CountsThe Three of UsThe Undoing ProjectThe Vagina MonologuesThe Velveteen FatherThe Winter of Our DisconnectThe Woman Who Walked into the SeaThe Years of Silence are PastThe Yellow HouseThe Yipping TigerThick As ThievesThinThis Close to HappyThomas S. SzaszTiger, TigerTits, Ass, and Real EstateTo Redeem One Person Is to Redeem the WorldTo Walk on EggshellsTransforming MadnessTrue CompassTruth & BeautyTruth Comes in BlowsTuesdays with MorrieTweakTwitch and ShoutUltimate JudgementUndercurrentsUnholy GhostUnlikelyVoices of AlcoholismVoices Of Alzheimer'sVoices of CaregivingVoices of RecoveryVoluntary MadnessWaiting for DaisyWar FareWashing My Life AwayWastedWaveWe're Going to Need More WineWe're Not MonstersWeather Reports from the Autism FrontWeekends at BellevueWhat Did I Do Last Night?What Goes UpWhat I Learned in Medical SchoolWhat's Normal?When a Crocodile Eats the SunWhen Breath Becomes AirWhen Do I Get My Shoelaces Back?.....When It Gets DarkWhen the Piano StopsWhen You Are Engulfed in FlamesWhere Did It All Go Right?Where is the Mango Princess?Where the Roots Reach for WaterWhile the City SleptWhile They SleptWho Was Jacques Derrida?Why I Left, Why I StayedWhy I'm Like ThisWildWill's ChoiceWinnicottWinnieWish I Could Be ThereWith Their EyesWomen Living with Self-InjuryWomen, Body, IllnessWrestling with the AngelYou All Grow Up and Leave MeYou Must Be DreamingYour Voice in My HeadZeldaZor
From the start the
authors acknowledge that this is really a book they have compiled, or rather
edited, mostly from the writings of their patients at the Hillside facility in
For most of us who work
in such surrounds, the stories are either comfortingly or tragically familiar.
As they write of their first experiences or hospitalisations with this
condition, those with psychosis present and past document the sudden
realisation that their lives have changed for ever. Although some write with
clarity, and the compilers appear to largely have left their syntax alone, most
have the dullness and sad weight-bearing properties of the mentally challenged.
The challenge of the
condition plays itself out in the usual ways: the initial strain of their
lives, then the symptoms and strangeness, at first tolerated, then denied, then
capitulated to, then the trap of hospital, the medication and the side effects,
the interaction with society taking hold of their freedom, and the overall
burden of psychosocial loss.
With most, it seems the
losses drag them down for periods of up to five years, until they come to some
stability. They get fat on olanzepine, drool on clozapine, tremble on risperidone,
get stiff and impotent on typicals, and can't make up their minds on quetiapine.
They get depressed, they deny, they resist, they capitulate.
They struggle in most human
ways with telling or not telling partners in sex and society, business and
family. They feel the guilt of any action that may have led to their being one
of the chosen, and struggle with the fact they were. One writes "why me"
and then "why not me" when told she has been touched forever by this
For anyone far down the
line as a treater, or carer, or patient, this is a nothing-new book.
For those family or patients who are only just coming to realise that something
is wrong and will be forever, this book is full of the new and the sad, bad and
mad side to schizophrenia.
Some of it is only
vaguely contentious, such as the mooted fact that schizophrenia is a "chemical
imbalance" or that the drugs "regulate neurotransmitters" or
other platitudes that violate the idea of brain systems in interaction, or the
unidirectional antagonists, or of the Goldilocks drugs, or of the rich
interactions between genotype and phenotype. The experts lurk in the
background, but don't really put themselves on the line: this is a book by the
people and for the people. It treads softly politically.
It still follows the
party line, you have an illness, we have pills, we cannot cure it, you go to
hospital, you will be sick forever: all true enough. But some stories, such as
Zelda's, are told in more detail, and plague the mind. Some of these stories
are made more effective by the banality of tone:
Eating and drinking caused ... trips to
the public, dormlike bathroom ... torturous for me. The first time I went into
one, a lady, maybe in her mid-thirties, looked at me and let out a low-volume Hi
... Her hair was up in a sloppy, curly ponytail; her face was lacking in makeup
and happiness. I vocalised nothing in return, but my face said to her, "Please
just ignore me. I'm only here because I couldn't hold it in anymore. My first
choice would be to pee all over the floor in my room, but then I would have to
associate with that man with the mop." Maybe she didn't hear all that with
my expression. Probably she just quickly go the notion that I was as hopeless
as she looked.
As a book, it avoids,
like the plague, the news of the fomenting militancy surfacing amongst
patients, some of whom turn on their medical carers with violence: patients who
default on medication are understood, but misguided. DSM-IV is deity, and its
subdivisions are fact: everyone goes to Level III in hospital. Rehab and
recovery models are not offered up as viable alternatives to hospital, and
stigma is accepted, not challenged, one merely has to lie and deny. This book
is after all a breathy attempt to present this damning illness from the damaged
goods consumers themselves in an attempt to humanise the patients and mitigate
the stigma; the Who am I now? Chapter is uninspiring.
The concern is that this
book will only be read by the converted, or the families who are informed a
little now, but not yet there. The vast Joe Q Public average person in the
bookstore will simply not buy it at all. Schizophrenia happens to someone
else, means split personality, is not our problem. Overall the book is
depressing. The drab, passive ordinariness of the patients themselves would
scare the hell out of the lay reader, who would perhaps not discriminate so
much, but certainly would be terrified. There is here only the offer of
hospital care: there is no reflection from the patients that assertive
community care is being applied to their cases as they leave acute services.
Rehab appears to be hospital based, expensive, the stories collated by
Recently, a colleague of
mine became psychotic and very disorderly in a large city. He was taken by his
mother by the GP, who sent him immediately to the psychiatrist. He spent an
hour with him, sending him home with 400mg of quetiapine on board, increasing
every day. Two hours after they got home, a community team consisting of a
nurse, medical student and social worker arrived. They came once a day for a
week, helping him and the family sort out the medication. After two weeks he
felt better, and was less sedated. The family began to attend evening sessions
at a local information group to find out about this illness. He is well, and
despite some minor relapses in the year that followed, has yet to set foot in a
hospital. Or write about seclusion, hierarchical wards and rule-driven
systems. Not confined to a hospital despite being at risk, he never lost who
he was, never used the dormlike bathroom, he went home to bid, like most sick
In most other cities,
including my own, he would be writing his story from a hospital ward, spending
months there, with people being rude to him, learning to adapt to the society
of the damned.
His story is different.
So the book sets out to
tell the story from the horse's mouth in a traditional psychiatric setting, and
does so, in comic book style and with comic book charm. Charming line drawings
of each writer head their paragraphs, and each character ekes through, rather
like a caricature of someone we have known or locked up in our time, or jumped
on five at a time, or stuck with needles loaded with oily parkinsonian agents.
Its hard to imagine the
market for this book. Perhaps each new patient entering a ward with the threat
of diagnosis, each family in tow, needs to be issued with such a book. 1% of
the American market will need to see this, about 2 million people, a huge
market, all needing to know what others like them have gone through.
Although subtitled a 'comprehensive
resource' work, there is not much. It is more like a survivors journal, allowing
only a tiny bit of the phenomenology of being nuts to come through. Many of my
own patients have done a better job, are more colourful, and give their carers
a much richer tableau of what the experience was like in retrospect. It seems
the patients of Hillside give a more sanitised, mellowed or toned-down
view. They have had to discard their rich experiences so they could leave the
locked ward, seem tentative in trotting out their feelings and experiences when
doom struck. In this way, their stories are drearily tragic, and fail to
inspire. Contributions from the experts are given from the doorway, not
upfront, sure done deliberately so as not to intrude, but lacking the richness
of tapestry that Art Brut can provide, and denying the sick creativity produced
by the illness. Oliver Sacks of course has done this so well in behavioural
neurology, so much so that it is a pity to see such a chance in psychiatry slip
through the fingers of the authors/compilers of this minor paperback.
So for those hospital
wards who need to give out a cheap and comprehensive brochure on schizophrenia,
for those families and patients who are embarking on a journey they did not
choose, and would love to abandon, this is the work, easily read and absorbed,
of those who have drifted through, and are trying to find meaning, positively,
negatively, and cognitively. For this purpose, it is just fine, and takes a
mild look at horror, decline, and despair, all with the spin of the patient
I don't think that
students in the mental health professions would find this book that
interesting, unless their training never fleshed out this arena at all, or they
had no contact with such sufferers. It does inform though, banal and trite.
The internet has become a powerful resource for most, but for those who do not
have such luxuries, perhaps the drug companies could buy a few thousand of
these and distribute them to the families who need to be comforted, but not
aroused. Helpful, in the end, it is, but only for those in the USA.
What is missing is the
concept of recovery: not from the illness, but from the loss of social
position, of social capital. The book sets out to inform, and it does, but not
in any revolutionary way. The experiences of those in this diary are left spun
and sanitised, but without champion. Until affirmative action is used to
address the seriously skewed playing ground, the stories of the damned are sad
and tragic: those with serious mental disorders are facing society in an
unequal relationships with their culture, and they are therein disadvantaged.
© 2003 Roy Sugarman
PhD, Clinical Lecturer in Psychiatry, Adelaide University, Senior Cinical
Neuropsychologist, Royal Adelaide Hospital Glenside Campus Extended Care