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Starting Over.Mating in CaptivityMom, Dad, I'm Gay.MotherstylesMurder in the InnMysterious CreaturesNecessary NoiseOdd Girl OutOpenOpening to Love 365 Days a YearOphelia's MomOrgasmsOur Journey Through High Functioning Autism and Asperger SyndromeOut of the DustOvercoming Your Difficult FamilyParenting and the Child's WorldParenting on the GoParenting Your Out-Of-Control TeenagerParents and Digital TechnologyParents Do Make a DifferencePassionate MarriagePlanet JanetPreventing Misbehavior in ChildrenProblem Child or Quirky Kid?Raising AmericaRaising ElijahRaising Kids in an Age of TerrorRaising Kids in the 21st CenturyRaising Resilient ChildrenRay's a LaughRelationship RescueRespect-Me RulesRomantic IntelligenceRoom For JSecrets of a Passionate MarriageSelf-NurtureSelfish, Shallow, and Self-AbsorbedSex Addiction: The Partner's PerspectiveShidduch CrisisSickenedSingleSlut!Socrates in LoveSomeone Like YouSong for EloiseSpecial SiblingsSpiritually Healing the Indigo Children (and Adult Indigos, Too!)Staying Connected to Your TeenagerStaying Sane When Your Family Comes to VisitStop Arguing with Your KidsStop SignsStop Walking on EggshellsStop Walking on EggshellsStrong, Smart, & BoldSummer of the SkunksSurviving a Borderline ParentTaking Charge of AngerTelling SecretsThank You for Being Such a PainThe Anti-Romantic ChildThe AwakeningThe Bastard on the Couch CDThe Birth of PleasureThe Brief Couples Therapy Homework Planner with DiskThe Bully Action GuideThe Burden of SympathyThe Commercialization of Intimate LifeThe CorrectionsThe Couples Psychotherapy Treatment PlannerThe DisappearanceThe Dream BearerThe Educated ParentThe Emotional RevolutionThe Employee Assistance Treatment PlannerThe EpidemicThe Ethics of ParenthoodThe Ethics of the FamilyThe Gay Baby BoomThe Good DivorceThe Guide for International Intercultural Couples and Families Intercultural MarriageThe Healing Journey for CouplesThe Hostile HospitalThe Husbands and Wives ClubThe Inside Story on Teen GirlsThe Introvert AdvantageThe Little FriendThe Love HexagonThe Moral Intelligence of ChildrenThe Neuroscience of Human RelationshipsThe New I DoThe Normal OneThe Nurture AssumptionThe OASIS Guide to Asperger SyndromeThe Other ParentThe Philosophical ParentThe Psychology of Parental ControlThe Real Rules for GirlsThe Reflective ParentThe Right to Be ParentsThe Secret Lives of WivesThe Spider and the BeeThe State of AffairsThe StepsThe Story of My FatherThe Velveteen FatherThe Virgin BlueThe Visitation HandbookThe Whole ChildTo Have and To Hurt:Two Is EnoughUnderstanding MarriageUnderstanding the Borderline MotherUnhitchedUp in FlamesWe've Got IssuesWhat about the KidsWhat Goes UpWhat Is Secular Humanism?What It Means to Love YouWhat Our Children Teach UsWhen a Parent is DepressedWhen Mars Women DateWhen Someone You Love Is BipolarWhen Someone You Love Is DepressedWhy Are You So Sad?Will You, Won't You?WomanWorking With Emotional IntelligenceWorried All the TimeYes, Your Teen Is Crazy!
Parents often possess an Achilles heel when approached with advice
or suggestions on how to raise their children. Piero Ferucci's
What Our Children Teach Us - Lessons on Joy, Love, and Awareness
often feels like life in a goldfish bowl. But, despite the initial
desire to contradict the author's statements, you'll discover
yourself nodding in agreement, acknowledging a valid point and
smiling in understanding.
Ferruci asks us to consider what our children could teach us if
we only took the time to listen, to guide rather than dictate,
to love unconditionally. He does this in a clear concise manner
that is inoffensive and remarkably thought provoking. He presents
his ideas by citing and utilizing his own experience with parenthood
while offering examples of his own children that are difficult
to dispute. As a parent you'll sympathize and even recognize his
case in point, simply because you've experienced it as well.
Ferruci introduces us to his two children, Emelio and Jonathan
and openly shares various and often-humorous stages of their lives.
As his experiences develop, his sense of awareness develops along
with it as he finds himself battling between the standard expectations
of parenting and a more liberating, lenient approach. In its simplest
form, "should be" replaces "could be" as he
attempts to emphasize that our actions as parents can evolve into
a positive experience for both parent and child, if we can see
beyond the restraints of society.
Forming expectations of our children is a natural parental response
and is one of the key themes of Ferruci's book. Evident throughout,
the author explains how we often guide our children towards what
we expect of them, rather than allowing them to become an individual
with their own ideas and thought processes -- "A character
trait or habit is not delivered to us in a package. It reaches
us by contagion." (p. 34).
While Ferruci advocates a change in parenting, he is far from
dictatorial. He admits that perfectionism isn't possible and his
own experiences reveal a learning process of trial and error that
leads us to acceptance rather than drastic change. Instead of
trying to control our children, Ferruci urges that we guide them.
It is through this guidance he suggests, that we will in turn
learn from our children. In essence, if we seek to accept rather
than control and understand rather than change, then we'll be
far more accepting of society a whole.
The author seems at times to set a daunting task but accepts that
giving isn't always easy. While you understand him you also wonder
where he gets his patience, for we are asked to thwart society
and its conformities and to give with good grace and few half
measures. It would take a courageous soul to completely snub society
and unless society changes simultaneously, you cannot help but
question whether you'd really be preparing your children suitably
for life at its most severe. Still, Ferruci tackles the role of
pioneer remarkably well. He makes you think, and change often
begins with one idea or thought.
© 2002 Elizabeth Batt
Elizabeth Batt is
the Managing Editor for Ancient and European history at Suite101.com.
Her Website, Kids British History.com,
presents history to children in a clear and light-hearted manner.
She lives in Montana, with her three children, one dog, one cat
and two horses where she is hard at work on a historical fiction
book for children.
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