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Anger and Forgiveness"Are You There Alone?"10 Good Questions about Life and DeathA Casebook of Ethical Challenges in NeuropsychologyA Companion to BioethicsA Companion to BioethicsA Companion to GenethicsA Companion to GenethicsA Companion to Muslim EthicsA Cooperative SpeciesA Critique of the Moral Defense of VegetarianismA Delicate BalanceA Fragile LifeA Life for a LifeA Life-Centered Approach to BioethicsA Matter of SecurityA Mirror Is for ReflectionA Mirror Is for ReflectionA Natural History of Human MoralityA Philosophical DiseaseA Practical Guide to Clinical Ethics ConsultingA Question of TrustA Sentimentalist Theory of the MindA Short Stay in SwitzerlandA Tapestry of ValuesA Very Bad WizardA World Without ValuesAction and ResponsibilityAction Theory, Rationality and CompulsionActs of ConscienceAddiction and ResponsibilityAddiction NeuroethicsAdvance Directives in Mental HealthAfter HarmAftermathAgainst AutonomyAgainst BioethicsAgainst HealthAgainst MarriageAgainst Moral 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IdentitiesDeaf Identities in the MakingDeath Is That Man Taking NamesDebating ProcreationDebating Same-Sex MarriageDecision Making, Personhood and DementiaDecoding the Ethics CodeDefining DifferenceDefining Right and Wrong in Brain ScienceDefining the Beginning and End of LifeDelusions of GenderDementiaDemocracy in What State?Demons of the Modern WorldDescriptions and PrescriptionsDesert and VirtueDesire, Practical Reason, and the GoodDestructive Trends in Mental HealthDeveloping the VirtuesDid My Neurons Make Me Do It?Difference and IdentityDigital HemlockDigital SoulDignityDignityDisability BioethicsDisability, Difference, DiscriminationDiscrimination against the Mentally IllDisordered Personalities and CrimeDisorders of VolitionDisorientation and Moral LifeDivided Minds and Successive SelvesDoes Feminism Discriminate against Men?Does Torture Work?Doing HarmDouble Standards in Medical Research in Developing CountriesDown GirlDrugs and JusticeDworkin and His CriticsDying in the 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ScienceEthics and the A PrioriEthics and the Discovery of the UnconsciousEthics and the Metaphysics of MedicineEthics at the CinemaEthics at the End of LifeEthics Case Book of the American Psychoanalytic AssociationEthics Done RightEthics ExpertiseEthics for EveryoneEthics for PsychologistsEthics for the New MillenniumEthics in CyberspaceEthics in Everyday PlacesEthics in Health CareEthics In Health Services ManagementEthics in Mental Health ResearchEthics in PracticeEthics in PsychiatryEthics in PsychologyEthics in Psychotherapy and CounselingEthics of PsychiatryEthics without OntologyEthics, Culture, and PsychiatryEthics, Sexual Orientation, and Choices about ChildrenEvaluating the Science and Ethics of Research on HumansEvilEvil GenesEvil in Modern ThoughtEvil in Modern ThoughtEvolution, Gender, and RapeEvolutionary Ethics and Contemporary BiologyEvolutionary Psychology and ViolenceEvolved MoralityExperiments in EthicsExploding the Gene MythExploiting ChildhoodFacing Human SufferingFact and ValueFacts and ValuesFaking ItFalse-Memory Creation in Children and AdultsFat ShameFatal FreedomFellow-Feeling and the Moral LifeFeminism and Its DiscontentsFeminist Ethics and Social and Political PhilosophyFeminist TheoryFinal ExamFirst Do No HarmFirst, Do No HarmFlashpointFlesh WoundsForced to CareForgivenessForgivenessForgiveness and LoveForgiveness and ReconciliationForgiveness and RetributionForgiveness is Really StrangeFoucault and the Government of DisabilityFoundational Issues in Human Brain MappingFoundations of Forensic Mental Health AssessmentFree WillFree Will And Moral ResponsibilityFree Will and Reactive AttitudesFree Will, Agency, and Meaning in LifeFree?Freedom and ValueFreedom vs. InterventionFriendshipFrom Darwin to HitlerFrom Disgust to HumanityFrom Enlightenment to ReceptivityFrom Morality to Mental HealthFrom Silence to VoiceFrom Valuing to ValueFrontiers of JusticeGender in the MirrorGenetic PoliticsGenetic ProspectsGenetic ProspectsGenetics of Original SinGenetics of Original SinGenocide's AftermathGetting RealGluttonyGood WorkGoodness & AdviceGreedGroups in ConflictGrowing Up GirlGut FeminismHabilitation, Health, and AgencyHandbook for Health Care Ethics CommitteesHandbook of BioethicsHandbook of Children's RightsHandbook of PsychopathyHappinessHappiness and the Good LifeHappiness Is OverratedHard FeelingsHard LuckHardwired BehaviorHarmful ThoughtsHeal & ForgiveHealing PsychiatryHealth Care Ethics for PsychologistsHeterosyncraciesHistorical and Philosophical Perspectives on Biomedical EthicsHoly WarHookedHookedHow Can I Be Trusted?How Fascism WorksHow Propaganda WorksHow to Do Things with Pornography How to Make Opportunity EqualHow Universities Can Help Create a Wiser WorldHow We HopeHow We Think About DementiaHuman BondingHuman Dignity and Assisted DeathHuman Dignity and Assisted DeathHuman EnhancementHuman GoodnessHuman Identity and BioethicsHuman TrialsHumanism, What's That?Humanitarian ReasonHumanityHumanizing MadnessI am Not Sick I Don't Need Help!I Was WrongIdentifying Hyperactive ChildrenIf That Ever Happens to MeImproving Nature?In Defense of FloggingIn Defense of SinIn Love With LifeIn Our Own ImageIn the FamilyIn the Land of the DeafIn the Name of IdentityIn the Wake of 9/11In Two MindsInclusive EthicsInformed Consent in Medical ResearchInnovation in Medical TechnologyInside Assisted LivingInside EthicsIntelligence, Race, and GeneticsIntensive CareInto the Gray ZoneIs Human Nature Obsolete?Is Long-Term Therapy Unethical?Is There a Duty to Die?Is There an Ethicist in the House?Issues in Philosophical CounselingJudging Children As ChildrenJust a DogJust BabiesJust CareJustice for ChildrenJustice for HedgehogsJustice in RobesJustice, Luck, and KnowledgeJustifiable ConductKant on Moral AutonomyKant's Theory of VirtueKids of CharacterKilling McVeighLack of CharacterLack of CharacterLaw and the BrainLearning About School ViolenceLearning from Baby PLeaving YouLectures on the History of Political 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Brain Made Me Do ItMy Sister's KeeperMy Sister's KeeperMy WayNano-Bio-EthicsNarrative MedicineNarrative ProsthesisNatural Ethical FactsNatural-Born CybogsNaturalized BioethicsNeither Bad nor MadNeoconservatismNeonatal BioethicsNeurobiology and the Development of Human MoralityNeuroethicsNeuroethicsNeuroethicsNew Takes in Film-PhilosophyNew Waves in EthicsNew Waves in MetaethicsNietzsche on Ethics and PoliticsNo Child Left DifferentNo Impact ManNormative EthicsNormativityNothing about us, without us!Oath BetrayedOf War and LawOn ApologyOn Being AuthenticOn EvilOn Human RightsOn The Stigma Of Mental IllnessOn the TakeOn Virtue EthicsOn What MattersOn What We Owe to Each OtherOne ChildOne Nation Under TherapyOne World NowOne World NowOur Bodies, Whose Property?Our Bodies, Whose Property?Our Daily MedsOur Faithfulness to the PastOur Posthuman FutureOut of EdenOut of Its MindOut of the ShadowsOverdosed AmericaOxford Handbook of Psychiatric EthicsOxford Studies in Normative EthicsOxford Studies in Normative Ethics, Volume 7Oxford Textbook of Philosophy of PsychiatryPassionate DeliberationPatient Autonomy and the Ethics of ResponsibilityPC, M.D.Perfecting VirtuePersonal AutonomyPersonal Autonomy in SocietyPersonal Identity and EthicsPersonalities on the PlatePersonhood and Health CarePersons, Humanity, and the Definition of DeathPerspectives On Health And Human RightsPharmaceutical FreedomPharmacracyPharmageddonPhilosophy and This Actual WorldPhilosophy of BiologyPhilosophy of Technology: The Technological ConditionPhysician-Assisted DyingPicturing DisabilityPilgrim at Tinker CreekPlaying God?Playing God?Political EmotionsPornlandPowerful MedicinesPractical Autonomy and BioethicsPractical EthicsPractical Ethics for PsychologistsPractical RulesPragmatic BioethicsPragmatic BioethicsPragmatic NeuroethicsPraise and BlamePreferences and Well-BeingPrimates and PhilosophersPro-Life, Pro-ChoiceProcreation and ParenthoodProfits Before People?Progress in BioethicsProperty in the BodyProzac As a Way of LifeProzac on the CouchPsychiatric Aspects of Justification, Excuse and Mitigation in Anglo-American Criminal Law Psychiatric EthicsPsychiatry and EmpirePsychological Concepts and Biological PsychiatryPsychology and Consumer CulturePsychology and LawPsychotropic Drug Prescriber's Survival GuidePublic Health LawPublic Health Law and EthicsPublic PhilosophyPunishing the Mentally IllPunishmentPursuits of WisdomPutting Morality Back Into PoliticsPutting on VirtueQuality of Life and Human DifferenceRaceRadical HopeRadical VirtuesRape Is RapeRe-creating MedicineRe-Engineering Philosophy for Limited BeingsReason's GriefReasonably ViciousReckoning With HomelessnessReconceiving Medical EthicsRecovery from SchizophreniaRedefining RapeRedesigning HumansReducing the Stigma of Mental IllnessReflections on Ethics and ResponsibilityReflections On How We LiveReframing Disease ContextuallyRefusing CareRefuting Peter Singer's Ethical TheoryRelative JusticeRelativism and Human 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and PedophilesSex OffendersSex, Family, and the Culture WarsSexual DevianceSexual EthicsSexual PredatorsSexualized BrainsShaping Our SelvesShock TherapyShould I Medicate My Child?ShunnedSick to Death and Not Going to Take It AnymoreSickoSide EffectsSidewalk StoriesSister CitizenSkeptical FeminismSocial Dimensions of Moral ResponsibilitySocial Inclusion of People with Mental IllnessSocial JusticeSociological Perspectives on the New GeneticsSome We Love, Some We Hate, Some We EatSovereign VirtueSpeech MattersSpiral of EntrapmentSplit DecisionsSticks and StonesStories MatterSubhumanSubjectivity and Being SomebodySuffering, Death, and IdentitySuicide ProhibitionSurgery JunkiesSurgically Shaping ChildrenTaking Morality SeriouslyTaming the Troublesome ChildTechnology and the Good Life?TestimonyText and Materials on International Human RightsThe Age of CulpabilityThe Age of CulpabilityThe Aims of Higher EducationThe Almost MoonThe Altruistic BrainThe American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook 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How Much?Why Some Things Should Not Be for SaleWisdom, Intuition and EthicsWithout ConscienceWomen and Borderline Personality DisorderWomen and MadnessWondergenesWould You Kill the Fat Man?Wrestling with Behavioral GeneticsWriting About PatientsYou Must Be DreamingYour Genetic DestinyYour Inner FishYouth Offending and Youth Justice Yuck!
Being a parent is the best and worst thing that can happen. Or, as Anne Lamott, mother of Sam, is quoted in Kazez's The Philosopher Parent, "I feel that he has completely ruined my life, because I just didn't used to care so much" (177). To this, add that there are more than 7 billion of us on the planet and you have a book that is easy and impossible to write. Parenthood is inherently social, so much so, that talking about it can be nauseating. Everyone has an opinion on every conceivable subject about what should--and shouldn't--be done. But asking thoughtful questions is a refreshing exercise for tired parents, like me with my 3-year-old daughter, and to this end, Kazez's contribution is a welcome one.
A parent of twins herself, Kazez divides her book in 18 fundamental questions that find their ways in parents' busy lives. She balances rigorous philosophical analysis, handling meta-ethical issues--such as the burden or blessing of being born; and practical matters with philosophical import--like in the case of lying to one's child. The tone of the book is just right, inviting readers into an intelligent and rich conversation.
Kazez's theoretical approach resides in Aristotle's idea that a child is an extension of the self. For example, she equates being concerned by the survival of her child with her own survival, or when she feels a touch puzzled about being proud of her child's accomplishment. Most of her arguments rely on this core idea, whether they relate to population control, custody issues, adoption, or circumcision.
Once the metaphysical issues are in place, the journey begins with life. Chapter 2 is devoted to conception, whether it's a duty, a fulfillment of a desire, or a source of happiness. The provocative idea that we are lucky to be born, presented through Dworkin's argument, is contrasted with the possible rights of yet-to-be-born children, and if parenthood is good as such. Kazez relies on the compelling question, "Can I function as a parent, regarding this child as a second self?" (29) to guide her case for having children, or not.
Chapters 3 and 4 attend to quantity and quality, nuancing threats of global overpopulation with regional variations, and personal realization. From divine to governmental interventions, Kazez confronts various viewpoints and balances her personal growth approach with the virtue of social responsibility. Discussions of quantity easily transition into preoccupations of the "quality" of newborns, in chapter 4, where parents are responsible for some choices. For instance, ought parents screen for future ailments (as we did), use in vitro fertilization, or optimize the time for conception? Kazez's analysis does justice to introduce the reader to some of what is in play prior to birth.
Actual conception, the topic of chapter 5, appears a bit far into the book, but nonetheless refreshingly as it involves a rich set of questions. The origin of life is a philosophical marvel, as we consider the growth of an embryo into a child composed of millions of cells. Matters are made more complex and unpredictable with Kazez's analysis of twins and miscarriages. If all goes well, 9 months later, parents embark on a journey described in chapter 6 as a voyager's trek. Natural births are contrasted with drug assisted ones by focusing on issues of pain and pleasure, as well as other values such as maximizing experience awareness, to conclude that every birthing story is memorable.
Once the child is there, whose is it? Mine, yours, everyone's, or no one's? Having created a new organism, chapters 7 and 8 deal with questions of property, identity, autonomy, prerogatives, and adoption. Once again, seeing a child as second self accomplishes much of the argument in having the right to determine the child's future. Building around Locke's theory of property, Kazez explains that unlike, say a house, a child has rights with regards to the parent; a human-to-human relationship is symmetrical in a way that a human-to-thing relationship isn't. As soon as parental rights are respected, including the right to give up or adopt a child, nothing, says Kazez, prevents adoptive parents from being fully parents themselves.
With rights and prerogatives determined, the aims of the parent are analyzed in chapter 9. Here again, the broad Aristotelian framework of the good life is the guiding voice. While happiness comes in many forms, the parent in Kazez's view ought to be "flexibly directive" (142), discouraging the tyrannical or steward-like approaches. Heritage and open-endedness underpin her philosophical approach in a way that reinforces the child's growing sense of autonomy.
But, obviously, all isn't up to the child. Circumcision and child-care are taken up in chapters 10 and 11. The former benefits from a health, religious, and social analysis, accepting that it may be impossible to determine whether to cut or not. Exploring her own Jewish heritage, Kazez admits to the unease behind the Orthodox reason for circumcision, that is of a father doing a "very, very hard thing," (168) to their boy as a testament of faith. From this hard event, Kazez transitions to the daily challenges associated with caring for a new life as part of already full ones. Women face especially dividing decisions as society still deems them to be predominant caregivers. Is motherhood compatible with a flourishing of life? If Anne Lamott, quoted above, is one version, it isn't everyone's. Kazez also explores the wanting and repetitive sides of parenthood, which for some cannot replace the satisfaction of a career.
With aging children, even very young ones, parents are confronted with the gender question. Chapter 12 tackles the blue pink dichotomy, with the philosophical parent not accepting this simplistic division. For Kazez, this issue concerns gender, sex, mental differences, and identity. Transcending the explicit sex differences associated with genitalia, Kazez appeals to biology to shed light on the spectrum of sexuality, including trans- and intergender realities. When it comes to the polemical theme of "male versus female" brains, she argues how boys and girls are more alike, than unlike, concluding that a balanced view of gender is required.
Turning to a more practical theme, the philosophical parent is put to task when it comes to group efforts in chapter 13. Should we to contribute to the school parent teacher association, attend performances of all schoolchildren (not only ours), and vaccinate our child? All of these issues boil down to the free-rider problem, which is that so long as others engage (e.g. get vaccinated), me or my child is free to do whatever she wants. But, as argues Kazez, these behaviors betray society's projects, where no child is more special than another, and that we should strive to flourish together.
The categorical wrongness of free-riding affords a nice transition into chapter 14's world of lying. Asking the questions of if and when is it all right to lie, Kazez covers many different scenarios. From convenient lies to avoid long explanations with a child for pragmatic reasons, to lying for one's child, the philosophical parent should engage in a progressive disclosure of truths. What is crucial, argues Kazez, is that the value of truthfulness is upheld. As we move to chapter 15, truth is front and center as we explore the issue of religion. Of Jewish tradition, Kazez explores this with regards to her children, for whom she wished a deeper religious experience, in the spirit of a child as a second self. However, after attending several religious education classes with her children, the unanswered questions, theological shortcuts, and indoctrination provoke Kazez to remove her twins. Respecting various approaches to religion, as well as parents' prerogatives, she argues for light, open, and progressive religious contact.
As time passes by children grow up. This puts Kazez's emphasis on the child as second self to the test. Exploring alternative ways of letting go, or not, control is at the heart of this process, which is taken up in chapter 16. Cases of obsessive parents and over-identifying ones, to the self-orphaning of children are dealt with the adroitness that comes with flourishing mindset. Kazez's identification to her children, we are told, facilitated their departure, since she sought adventure. Letting go, even if trying, nourishes autonomy.
Yet for the most part, it isn't full autonomy as the parent child relationship endures. In chapter 17 Kazez inverts the parent child relationship. What ought our children do for us? Do they owe us anything? Can they identify with us as a second self? Kazez builds from Confucian filial piety to invite children to be good to their parents, but falls short of reverence, for as we are told and can imagine, it depends on the context. An unhappy childhood, caused by heartless parents can't be expected to foster a caring relationship. Here, self-orphaning might be the only good option, despite its costs.
For all of the questioning and uneasy or paradoxical answers, why become a parent? In her final chapter, Kazez looks to psychology and economics to inform the philosopher parent. Drawing attention to the partiality of those studies, Kazez also points philosophy's failure to really notice parenthood until recently. The quest for the meaningful life shouldn't be reduced to happiness indexes or being able to reach universal philosophical truths. Parenthood is rich for the new experiences, even if destabilizing, it provides. Kazez reclaims Nussbaum's concept of fragility to show how parenthood makes growth, openness, and transcendence possible. Parenthood is duly promoted alongside other fulfilling lives, with moments of sorrow mixed in with elation and meaning.
The Philosopher Parent is a diverse, rich, funny, tragic, as well as analytical adventure in one of life's most challenging journeys. Kazez tackles ancient as well as contemporary questions by resting much on her use of the child as second self. But this, in turn, invites more questions. How are two unique parents to view the same child as their second self? And, what of my faults? How can the second self justify raising my child to be very different from me, a sort of second self that is a non-self? Finally, although it is easy to suggest more content to cover, and that The Philosopher Parent deals very well with the significant aspects of parenthood, the absence of a deeper treatment of emotions and new technologies is striking. As companions to Kazez's book, Matthew Pianalto's On Patience, Martha Nussbaum's Anger and Forgiveness, and Sherry Turkle's Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age philosophically equip parents and parents to be.
© 2017 Samuel LeBlanc
Samuel LeBlanc is PhD candidate, at the Faculty of Education, University of New Brunswick (Canada) working on the 21st century intellectually virtuous student.