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"Intimate" Violence against Women3 NBS of Julian DrewA Little PregnantA Natural History of RapeA Parent's Guide to Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning AutismA Stir of BonesAbout a BoyAdult Children of Emotionally Immature ParentsAgainst MarriageAgainst MarriageAlmost a PsychopathAlone TogetherAnatomy of LoveAngelsAnother CountryAnxious ParentsApples and OrangesBe Honest--You're Not That Into Him EitherBeing the Other OneBetrayed as BoysBeyond AddictionBipolar DisorderBoys Will Put You on a Pedestal (So They Can Look Up Your Skirt)Breaking ApartBrief Adolescent Therapy Homework PlannerBringing Up ParentsBut I Love HimCaring for a Child with AutismCaring in Remembered WaysCherishmentChildren of the Aging Self-AbsorbedChildren of the Self-AbsorbedChildren, Families, and Health Care Decision MakingClawsCloserCold HitCoping With Difficult PeopleCouple SkillsCruddyDancing in My NuddypantsDivorce PoisonDoing ItDone With The CryingEcstasyEmotional ClaustrophobiaEmotional Fitness for IntimacyEmotional Intelligence at WorkEntwined LivesErotic PassionsEssentials of Premarital CounselingEvery Pot Has a CoverFacts About ADHD ChildrenFamilies Like MineFamilyFamily BoundFamily FirstFear of IntimacyFinal JeopardyFind MeFlashpointFor Lesbian ParentsForgive Your Parents, Heal YourselfGandhi's WayGeorgia Under WaterGetting over Getting MadGetting the Love You WantGetting the Love You Want Audio CompanionGirl in the MirrorGirl StuffGoing Home without Going CrazyHandbook of AttachmentHandbook of Counseling and Psychotherapy with Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual ClientsHappiness Sold SeparatelyHard to GetHe's Just Not That Into YouHealing ConversationsHollow KidsHot ButtonsHot Chocolate for the Mystical LoverHow Families Still MatterHow to Create Chemistry with AnyoneHow to Give Her Absolute PleasureHow to Handle a Hard-To-Handle KidHow to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do If You Can'tI am Not Sick I Don't Need Help!I Don't Know How She Does ItI Hate You-Don't Leave MeI Only Say This Because I Love YouI'm OK, You're My ParentsIn the Mood, AgainInside the American CoupleIntrusive ParentingIt's Called a Breakup Because It's BrokenIt's Love We Don't UnderstandJakarta MissingKeeping Passion AliveKeeping Your Child in MindLet's Get This StraightLiberation's ChildrenLife's WorkLikely to DieLove JunkieLove SickLove Times ThreeLove Works Like ThisLoving Someone With Bipolar DisorderLoving Someone with Borderline Personality DisorderLust in TranslationMaking the RunMaking the RunManic DepressionMars and Venus - Starting Over.Mating in CaptivityMom, Dad, I'm Gay.MotherstylesMurder in the InnMysterious CreaturesNecessary NoiseOdd Girl OutOpenOpening to Love 365 Days a YearOphelia's MomOrgasmsOur Journey Through High Functioning Autism and Asperger SyndromeOut of the DustOvercoming Your Difficult FamilyParenting and the Child's WorldParenting on the GoParenting Your Out-Of-Control TeenagerParents and Digital TechnologyParents Do Make a DifferencePassionate MarriagePlanet JanetPreventing Misbehavior in ChildrenProblem Child or Quirky Kid?Raising AmericaRaising ElijahRaising Kids in an Age of TerrorRaising Kids in the 21st CenturyRaising Resilient ChildrenRay's a LaughRelationship RescueRelax, It's Just SexRespect-Me RulesRomantic IntelligenceRoom For JSecrets of a Passionate MarriageSelf-NurtureSelfish, Shallow, and Self-AbsorbedSex Addiction: The Partner's PerspectiveShidduch CrisisSickenedSingleSlut!Socrates in LoveSomeone Like YouSong for EloiseSpecial SiblingsSpiritually Healing the Indigo Children (and Adult Indigos, Too!)Staying Connected to Your TeenagerStaying Sane When Your Family Comes to VisitStop Arguing with Your KidsStop SignsStop Walking on EggshellsStop Walking on EggshellsStrong, Smart, & BoldSummer of the SkunksSurviving a Borderline ParentTaking Charge of AngerTelling SecretsThank You for Being Such a PainThe Anti-Romantic ChildThe AwakeningThe Bastard on the Couch CDThe Birth of PleasureThe Brief Couples Therapy Homework Planner with DiskThe Bully Action GuideThe Burden of SympathyThe Commercialization of Intimate LifeThe CorrectionsThe Couples Psychotherapy Treatment PlannerThe DisappearanceThe Dream BearerThe Educated ParentThe Emotional RevolutionThe Employee Assistance Treatment PlannerThe EpidemicThe Ethics of ParenthoodThe Ethics of the FamilyThe Gay Baby BoomThe Good DivorceThe Guide for International Intercultural Couples and Families Intercultural MarriageThe Healing Journey for CouplesThe Hostile HospitalThe Husbands and Wives ClubThe Inside Story on Teen GirlsThe Introvert AdvantageThe Little FriendThe Love HexagonThe Moral Intelligence of ChildrenThe Neuroscience of Human RelationshipsThe New I DoThe Normal OneThe Nurture AssumptionThe OASIS Guide to Asperger SyndromeThe Other ParentThe Philosophical ParentThe Psychology of Parental ControlThe Real Rules for GirlsThe Reflective ParentThe Right to Be ParentsThe Secret Lives of WivesThe Spider and the BeeThe State of AffairsThe StepsThe Story of My FatherThe Velveteen FatherThe Virgin BlueThe Visitation HandbookThe Whole ChildTo Have and To Hurt:Two Is EnoughUnderstanding MarriageUnderstanding the Borderline MotherUnhitchedUntrue Up in FlamesWe've Got IssuesWhat about the KidsWhat Goes UpWhat Is Secular Humanism?What It Means to Love YouWhat Our Children Teach UsWhen a Parent is DepressedWhen Mars Women DateWhen Someone You Love Is BipolarWhen Someone You Love Is DepressedWhy Are You So Sad?Will You, Won't You?WomanWorking With Emotional IntelligenceWorried All the TimeYes, Your Teen Is Crazy!
Whether reading in order to gain a better understanding of oneself, one's own mother, wife, daughter, or indeed any member of the family, there is much for each of us to learn here. Aimed at parents (especially mothers), and teachers concerned about parenting with children of all ages, this book certainly provides the reader with a series of useful, personality-type centered descriptions and advice, and may be especially welcomed by first-time mothers in search of initial tips on this subject. As many a psychologist likes to inform their students -- 'the very worst that might happen' (as a result of considering personality variables and their significance for understanding human behavior), is that "you may learn something about yourself!". Continuing to expand and apply the framework of Jungian thinking on personality types, via the worked results of individual Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (mother-and-daughter) interpreted profiles, Penley and Eble provide a useful volume here, packed with appropriate example behaviors and 'tips' for practical consideration for mothers finding themselves exploring a variety of different situational experiences.
Although we do not fully agree with all of the views expressed here, with some parts of this book certainly sounding confusing to someone knowing little or nothing about personality types, there are many reasons to take its content seriously. Without falling into the more proscriptive (bad) use of the MBTI© (for career applicant screening), the current authors use this type of personality assessment in a more prescriptive way (akin to the use of the PIC-MBTI® for training recommendation), instead making use of the identified strengths and weaknesses of each profile in affording its recommendations and 'tips' for success. The particular focus of its use in the current volume is to apply MBTI-like analysis in the pursuit of a better understanding of variations in motherhood behavior and its optimization for action, according to which one of 16 personality profiles any particular person may be said to match. Sufficient information is provided here for the reader to determine for him/herself which of the 16 profiles s/he best reflects (without the need to undergo a professional psychological testing session), although all of the following advice is directed only at providing what might be termed 'tips for motherhood'. On the whole the latter are very useful, and may lead one to understand so much (or at least provoke the reader to think so much) more clearly and deeply about one's own actions/behaviors, and those of other mothers, fathers, and even one's children.
Although the reviewer wishes to direct caution with regards the authors' use of the occasional lapse in assigning real preference (and thus behavior) to owners of each of the 16 personality profiles (whereas these are actually reflective of 'expressed preferences' due to the self-report nature of this kind of test instrument), Penley & Eble are more accurate in their stating their claim that, when things are going well with their family interactions ".. [they are].. operating from the strengths of your unique mothering style", and that "each of the 16 types of mothers does something better for her children than any of the other 15 types of mothers are likely to do" (p.18). If I were to offer criticism re the details of interpretation and recommendations, it would be leveled at the omission of any discussion with regards the significance of variations in personality type with regards the significant variations one might expect to consider due to a particular mother's age and personal experience (especially following multiple births and increasing sibling number). However, this book is not just for (or about) mothers and mothering styles. There is much here for (and about) dad, and the children, and the ways in which the whole family may better understand each other -- and indeed, the way(s) in with they might choose to interact with other families, and without recourse to any of the soul-mate searching and zodiac-sign matching that so many other books have tended towards. The self-balancing and whole family issues (which are in particular the focus of the later chapters), are dealt with in the same light as the mothering-style sections, and are well filled with appropriate and useful 'tips' and recommended strategies for a better understanding of each individual's actions, communications, desires, and preferences for ideas implementation -- this is a great strength of this book, and a reason (if the only one) to read it.
© 2008 Tony Dickinson and Julia Hui
Dr. Tony Dickinson and Julia Hui, People Impact Academy, Hong Kong, January, 2008.
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