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Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him EitherReview - Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either
Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve
by Ian Kerner
ReganBooks, 2005
Review by Dana Vigilante
Mar 28th 2006 (Volume 10, Issue 13)

From the forward written by female author Amy Sohn (author of The Modern Girl's Guide to Life), to the conclusion written by Ian's wife Lisa, this book is a predictably honest and direct look at  the way females go after crap worthy guys that they really aren't all that interested in to start with.

The forward alone was enough to remind me of one particularly rude ex-colleague that I started conversing with shortly after I cancelled my wedding.  As a matter of fact, I could have written the forward myself, there were so many similarities to my own life in it.  To say that this guy was rude would be a compliment to him.  However, the ruder he was, the more I was into him.  Why?  Well, in addition to being vulnerable, I can only surmise that somewhere along the way I dropped my pride and forgot to pick it up.  I won't embarrass myself any further by divulging any details of that mess, but suffice it to say, the guy was a first class dick.  As the forward of this book mentions, these are the kind of guys that (once we wake up), make us realize what we don't want in a relationship.  I literally woke up one morning and realized that I could no longer justify his behavior, or why I was so willing to put up with it.   I finally sent him a thank you note, via email, basically thanking him for being so obnoxious and showing me all of the qualities I wasn't looking for in a partner. Hitting that Send button was one of the most liberating things I had ever done.  It was sort of like cleaning all of the crap out of your closet so you can make room for lots of brand spanking new things.   Unfortunately, some women never wake up.  Instead they choose to put up with the crap that the men they are dating put them through.  Why?  Because there isn't anyone better to date, according to them.  This book can be used in two totally different ways to wake women up.  First, any woman putting up with a guy who treats her less than stellar needs to read this book from start to finish.  If she doesn't feel that she needs to read this book, yet is totally aware that she's dating a dick, then she should hand it over to one of her friends who should smack her over the head with it and knock some sense into her.

This book is a direct look at the way men treat women and why women would ever want to put up with that type of behavior.  The author touches on subjects such as women wanting to date like men (no strings attached sex), to the men who are really not all that into the women they are currently seeing.  With input from women in their 30's and 40's as well as men, this book opens the doors and sheds some light on why women are so willing to take crap instead of choosing to be alone.  The kicker here is that once all the cards are on the table, the women interviewed finally fess up to the fact that they really aren't all that into these guys to start with.  It seems that the thrill of the chase is important to women, as well.  To me, it's kind of like eyeing that pair of Manolo's in Neiman's for weeks on end.  Finally, you have the extra $600.00 to spend on them, but guess what?  Once you realize you can actually have them, they really aren't so hot anymore!  Read this book, ladies!

Ian's wife Lisa writes the conclusion of this book, in which she states that she dated a lot of Chippies (i.e. "dicks"), before she stopped wasting valuable time with Mr. Maybe and opened her heart up to meeting Mr. Right.  Good advice and before she knew it, she landed herself a swell husband!

Although this is a predictable book filled with information that all self-respecting women should live by, there are still a lot of women out there who definitely need to read this.  Buy it, read it, and pass it on to any of your girlfriends who are currently involved with a Chippie.  This is a humorous, light read, written with carefree candor and honesty.   I've already passed it on to a friend who can definitely benefit from it. 

 

© 2006 Dana Vigilante

Dana Vigilante is a hospice educator as well as an advocate for proper end-of-life care and a certified bereavement group facilitator. Currently writing a book based on interviews with terminally ill hospice patients, she divides her time between New Jersey and San Francisco.


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