email page print pageAll Topic Reviews
269 Amazing Sex GamesA History of MarriageA Pocket History of Sex in the Twentieth CenturyActionAll the WayAmerica UnzippedAmerica UnzippedAmerica's Sexual TransformationAmerican EugenicsAmerican GirlsAmerican HookupAn Interpretation of DesireAnarchism & SexualityAnatomy of a BoyfriendAnatomy of LoveAnthony GoicoleaAnticlimaxArt and HomosexualityArt/PornAssuming a BodyAutoportraitBachelors and BunniesBecoming OrgasmicBehind the Red DoorBest Sex Writing 2005Better Sex Through YogaBetter Sex Through YogaBetter Than EverBetween Mom and JoBeyond Diversity DayBeyond SexualityBeyond SpeechBeyond ToleranceBig Porn IncBill HensonBodies in DoubtBody ImagesBonkBoys Don't CryBreasts - A DocumentaryBrothelBuying SexCase Studies in Communication about SexCase Studies in Sexual DevianceCaught in the WebCelibaciesChildren and SexualityChildren and the Politics of SexualityChildren with Sexual Behavior ProblemsChildren, Sexuality and SexualizationChristy ReportClay's WayClinical Manual of Women's Mental HealthClose toYouClumsyCold HitCollege SexComing of Age in AmericaConfessions of the Other MotherCybersexCyborgasmDare... to Make Love with 2, 3, 4... or MoreDare... to Try BisexualityDating: Philosophy for EveryoneDeadly ButterflyDebating Same-Sex MarriageDeep GossipDeparting from DevianceDesire, Love, and IdentityDigital DiariesDilemmas of DesireDirty MindsDirty StoriesDisorders Of DesireDisorders of Sex Development:Doing ItDoing ItDoing It Down UnderDown and Dirty Sex SecretsDude, You're a FagEarly Embraces IIIEmerald City BluesEmotionally InvolvedEnjoying Guilty PleasuresErotic CapitalErotic InnocenceErotic PassionsEthics, Sexual Orientation, and Choices about ChildrenEveryday PornographyEvolution and Human Sexual BehaviorExploring TranssexualismFade to BlackFagbugFaking ItFamilies Like MineFast GirlsFinal JeopardyFinding H. F.Fire on the Mountain DVDFor Lesbian ParentsFor The Bible Tells Me SoForbiddenFrictionFrom Disgust to HumanityFrom Shame to SinFuckologyGay, Straight, and the Reason WhyGender in the MirrorGender OutlawsGeography ClubGetting RealGetting the Love You WantGirls & SexGirls Gone MildGirls Gone SkankGLBTQGoddess WorshipGoing DownGood GirlsGood PornGood Sex IllustratedGreat Answers to Difficult Questions About SexGuide To Getting It OnHandbook New Sexuality StudiesHandbook of Counseling and Psychotherapy with Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual ClientsHard to GetHardcore from the HeartHear Us Out!HeterosyncraciesHit & MissHomosexualitiesHookedHooking UpHow Sex Became a Civil LibertyHow Sex ChangedHow Sex WorksHow To Be GayHow to Do Things with Pornography How to Give Her Absolute PleasureHow to Have Magnificent SexHow to Make Great Love to a ManHow to Make Great Love to a WomanHow to Make Love Like a Porn StarHow to Think More About SexHypnography for MenHypnography for WomenHysterical MenI'd Rather Eat ChocolateI'll Be Your MirrorIf Men Could TalkImpotenceIn a Queer VoiceIn Praise of the WhipIn the Mood, AgainInsatiable WivesIntense Games DVDInvestigating Young People's Sexual CulturesIt's Perfectly NormalIt's Perfectly NormalIt’s Your HourJane Sexes It UpJock SturgesJust Between UsKama-Sutra--The Secrets to the Art of LoveKids Gone WildLegalizing ProstitutionLegalizing ProstitutionLet's Get This StraightLets Talk about SexLetters to Penthouse Vol. 50Likely to DieLittle ChicagoLoose GirlLosing Matt ShepardLoveLove and DesireLove and SexLove JunkieLove Lust DesireLove SickLustMad for FoucaultMagical ThinkingMaking American BoysMaking Babies the Hard WayMaking Chastity SexyMaking Peace with PornMaking ScenesMale SexualityMalefemaleMaster BreastsMating in CaptivityMedicalized MasculinitiesMelancholia and MoralismMenMental Health Issues in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Communities MiddlesexMoney ShotMoral Panics, Sex PanicsMy Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me UpMy HeartbeatMy Horizontal LifeName All the AnimalsNatural BeautyNerveNerveNew Sex Now DVDNightswimmingNone of the AboveNormalNormalNot GayNot The Marrying KindNot Under My RoofNothing PinkOedipus WreckedOn Being RapedOne Hot SecondOne Hour in ParisOpenOrgasmOrgasm Inc.OrgasmologyOrgasmsOver 100 Truly Astonishing Sex TipsOverexposedPeekPeriod PiecesPervPhilosophizing About Sex Philosophy of Love, Sex, and MarriagePin-up GrrrlsPINSPlease Don't Kill the FreshmanPolicing SexualityPolyamory in the 21st CenturyPornPorn NationPorn StudiesPorn UniversityPornifiedPornlandPornographyPornographyPornography, Sex, and FeminismPosition Of The Day PlaybookPray the Gay AwayPredatorsPremarital Sex in AmericaPrinciples and Practice of Sex TherapyPrivate Dicks - Men ExposedPrivate Practices DVDProblem GirlsPrudePsychopathia SexualisQueer PhilosophyRapeRape Is RapeRated X - A Journey Through PornRazmatazRecruiting Young LoveRedefining GirlyRedefining RapeRegulating SexRelax, It's Just SexRethinking Gender and Sexuality in ChildhoodRethinking RapeRunning with ScissorsSatan's Sex BookScreening SexSelling Sex ShortSexSex & Single GirlsSex (Ed)Sex and SpiritSex and the American TeenagerSex and the SoulSex and the Soul, Updated EditionSex and WarSex at DawnSex by NumbersSex DetoxSex Fiends, Perverts, and PedophilesSex in CrisisSex ObjectSex OffendersSex on the BrainSex PositionsSex Q & ASex, Family, and the Culture WarsSex, or the UnbearableSex, Therapy, and KidsSex, Time and PowerSextasySexting and Young PeopleSexual ArtSexual Boundary ViolationsSexual DevianceSexual DisordersSexual EcstasySexual EthicsSexual FluiditySexual IntelligenceSexual Orientation and Psychodynamic PsychotherapySexual Orientation and School PolicySexual PleasureSexual PredatorsSexual Teens, Sexual MediaSexuality in AdolescenceSexuationSexyBookShameShamelessShy GirlSlutWalkSmall FavorsSmutSocial Control of Sex OffendersSome Assembly RequiredSplit ScreenStir-FryStraight to JesusStrange BedfellowsStripped BareSurviving Sexual ViolenceSymptoms of Being HumanTalkTalk to Me FirstTechniques of PleasureTestosterone RexThe Anthropology of SexThe BabiesThe Better Sex Guide to the Kama SutraThe Big Book of PornThe Birth of the PillThe Blue Moon Erotic Reader IIIThe BodyThe Breast BookThe Breath of Tantric LoveThe Busy Couple's Guide to Great SexThe Case of the Female OrgasmThe Chemistry Between UsThe Clitoral TruthThe Education of SophieThe Emergence of SexualityThe End Of AliceThe End of SexThe Erotic EdgeThe Erotic Lives of WomenThe Essential KamasutraThe Fate of GenderThe First Man-Made ManThe First TimeThe Gay Baby BoomThe Good Vibrations Guide to SexThe Happy Hook-UpThe Hite ReportThe Humble Little CondomThe Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive OrgasmThe Illustrated Story of OThe Love CureThe Madness of WomenThe Men They Will BecomeThe Mirror of LoveThe Miseducation of Cameron PostThe Moral Panics of SexualityThe Naked Truth About SexThe Nature of Sexual DesireThe New Erotic PhotographyThe New Gay TeenagerThe Notebook GirlsThe Only Girl in the CarThe Order of the Poison OakThe Origins of SexThe Other HollywoodThe Other PlaceThe Other Side of DesireThe Perils of MasculinityThe Perversion of YouthThe Philosophy of PornographyThe Philosophy of Sex: Contemporary ReadingsThe Pleasure's All MineThe Politics Of LustThe Porn TrapThe Pornographer's GriefThe Pornography IndustryThe Praeger Handbook of TranssexualityThe Psychodynamics of Gender and Gender RoleThe Purity MythThe Real Truth About Teens and SexThe Right to Be ParentsThe Secret Lives of GirlsThe Sex Addiction WorkbookThe Sex Lives of TeenagersThe Sex MythThe Shared HeartThe Sleep of ReasonThe Smart Girl's Guide to PornThe State of AffairsThe Story of SexThe SurrenderThe Ten Minute Sexual SolutionThe Tenth CircleThe Transformations of GwenThe Transformations of GwenThe Trauma MythThe Ultimate Guide to Sex and DisabilityThe Vagina MonologuesThe ValleyThe Violence of CareThe Virgin BlueThe Virginity ClubThings Tom LikesThinking KinkThinking XXXToo Hot to HandleTransTransTransgender Children and YouthUltimate JudgementUltimate SexUndoing GenderUnlikelyUntangling the WebVirginVirgin NationVirgin Sex for GirlsVirgin Sex for GuysVirginity LostWhat Does Consent Really Mean?What Women WantWhat's Happening to My Body? Book for BoysWhat's Happening to My Body? Book for GirlsWhat's Happening to Tom?What's Wrong with Homosexuality?When Jeff Comes HomeWhen Sex Goes to SchoolWhen the Piano StopsWhere Do We Fall When We Fall in Love?Who Has What?Who's Been Sleeping in Your HeadWilhelm ReichWired for IntimacyWomen and Child Sexual AbuseWomen and MadnessWritten in the FleshYou Know Me WellZen Sex
The pages of this book are fraught with
red flags and sounding alarm bells. Salter wants us all to wake up and do
something about the sexual predators who live, undetected, among us, and wreak
physical and emotional damage upon defenseless women and innocent children with
their secret and deceptive agendas for satisfying their perverse sexual
The author has impressive credentials for
writing such a book: a Harvard Ph.D. in psychology; more than two decades
researching the subject; lecturing in more than forty states and in ten
countries; giving keynote addresses at national conferences in four of these
countries; and receiving, in 1997, the Significant Achievement Award of the
Association of the Treatment of Sexual Abusers, an award given to only one
person in the world every year.
This book can be roughly divided into three parts: beginning; middle; and
end. The Introduction and Chapter 1, "The Problem," constitute the
beginning; Chapters 2, "Deception," 3, "Techniques of
Deception," 4. "Child Molesters", 5, "Rapists," 6
"Sadists," 7, "Psychopaths: Fooling People for the Thrill of
It," and 8. "Staff Seductions," make up the middle portion; and
Chapters 9, "Rose-Colored Glasses and Trauma," 10, "Detecting
Deception," and 11, "Protecting Our Children and Ourselves:
Deflecting Sex Offenders," are included in the ending.
In the book's beginning--the introduction
and first chapter--the author tries to dispel the erroneous belief that sexual
offenders are all monsters who differ so much in their appearance and behavior
from "normal" people that they can be easily recognized. Instead of
sneaking into a house in the middle of the night, they are more apt to "…come
through the front door in the middle of the day, as friends and neighbors, as
Boy Scout leaders, priests, principals, teachers, doctors, and coaches."
She also gives statistics to help us
readers understand the scope--the enormity--of the problem. Research beginning
in 1929 documented sexual abuse of female children as being from 24 to 37
percent, and of male children between 27 to 30 percent. A modern study found
that two hundred and thirty-two child molesters admitted attempting more than
55,000 molestations, 38,000 of which were successful, involving more than
17,000 victims. In a larger sample of five hundred and sixty-one offenders
involving all kinds of sex offenses--exhibitionism, voyeurism and adult rape as
well as child molestation--they admitted to more than 291,000 sexual offenses
and more than 195,000 victims.
Even more astounding than the number of
sexual offenders, offenses and victims is the report that most of the offenses
had never been detected by the authorities. "Crime pays, it seems,"
writes Salter, " and sexual crime pays particularly well."
The seven chapters in the middle section
of the book are filled with reports given to the author by different kinds of
sex offenders. Many of these offenders had been committing offenses for years
and decades before finally being identified. They had been able to continue
their molesting, raping and other sex offenses for so long because what Salter
sees as most people's trusting nature. Even mental health professionals were
frequently taken in by the sex-offenders proficiency at deception.
The author believes that the various
psychoanalysts who hypothesize that child victims of molestation unconsciously
lure the molesters because of their own repressed sexual desires, are
themselves part of the problem rather than the solution.
Salter gives an extreme example of how
easy it is for sex-offenders to deceive people. A correctional officer and his
wife made friends with a convicted child molester during his term in prison,
and invited him to live with them after his release, despite the fact that they
had a nine-year-old daughter. They were so taken with this offender that they
initiated adoption proceedings after he had lived with them a few months. The
offender molested their daughter the entire time he lived with them , and when
this was discovered he was again convicted and re-incarcerated. Despite this
development, the officer and his wife were still so attached to the prisoner
that they continued to visit him in prison.
Throughout this middle section of her
book, Salter emphasizes the two principal reasons for the astounding number of
undetected sexual offenses: the offenders' unbelievable deceptive skills and
the gullibility of the general public.
At the very beginning of the final
section of her book, Chapter 9, Salter compares her own view of the world with
that of one of her friends. Her friend voices her belief that "there is
good in everyone." Salter believes that this point of view is not only
naïve--it is also dangerous. She writes: " The most optimistic viewpoints
on the world can be shown to make us healthier and happier, but
can--unchecked--make us vulnerable to predators as well." She further
contrasts her own viewpoint with the "rose-colored" one of her friend
by saying: "She would reason with an intruder. I would shoot him."
In Chapter 10, "Detecting
Deception," Salter points out that there is no such thing as a checklist
that we can use to spot predators. She advises that the first step we must take
to recognize sexual offenders is to become aware of our own biases--our
"positive illusions" that cloud our judgment by making us believe
that we live in a much kindlier and gentler world than is really the case.
Once we manage to convince ourselves that
there really are sexual predators all around us, looking for circumstances that
offer opportunities for rape or molestation, we are ready to learn the
tell-tale signs of lies and other forms of deception. Salter, who gives
training sessions on detection of deception, tells us that most people believe
that gaze aversion and fidgeting are reliable signs of lying. Not so. These are
only signs of nervousness, and many sexual offenders are such practiced liars
that they feel no nervousness at all while prevaricating. The author gives us a
long list of different kinds of body language that are indicative of
deception--the kinds of "tells" that gamblers look for to recognize
when an opponent is bluffing. However, at the end of the chapter she gives us a
caveat : "We should not put all our eggs into the basket of detecting
deception; we should consider deflection instead."
In the final chapter, Salter suggests
that, since the detection of sexual predators is so difficult, "…we must
pay attention to ways of deflecting
any potential offenders from getting access to us or to our children." She
goes on to give us some common sense suggestions as to how to do this. For
example, if we accompany our children to school and church events, our very
presence is a deterrent to attempts at molestation. We can avoid high-risk
situations--for example, don't leave our children unattended with men who
involve themselves in youth activities although they have no children of their
own or children of that age.
The last paragraph of the book reads:
"If I do my job right, my children's lives will be filled with so many
opportunities and interests, they will not even notice what they're missing.
The only one who will notice is that friendly, smiling, affable man with a secret
life, the one at the sock hop, the one who's waiting for an opportunity that
will never come."
All of us who have children--particularly
if we also have grandchildren--owe Salter a debt of gratitude for writing this
book. If we read it carefully and follow her advice, there will be a noticeable
decline in the incidence of sex offenses and the devastating effects these
offenses have on their victims.
© 2004 Jack R. Anderson
Jack R. Anderson,
M.D. is a retired psychiatrist living in Lincoln, Nebraska.