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"Intimate" Violence against Women3 NBS of Julian DrewA Little PregnantA Natural History of RapeA Parent's Guide to Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning AutismA Stir of BonesAbout a BoyAdult Children of Emotionally Immature ParentsAlmost a PsychopathAlone TogetherAnatomy of LoveAngelsAnother CountryAnxious ParentsApples and OrangesBe Honest--You're Not That Into Him EitherBeing the Other OneBetrayed as BoysBeyond AddictionBipolar DisorderBoys Will Put You on a Pedestal (So They Can Look Up Your Skirt)Breaking ApartBrief Adolescent Therapy Homework PlannerBringing Up ParentsBut I Love HimCaring for a Child with AutismCaring in Remembered WaysCherishmentChildren of the Aging Self-AbsorbedChildren of the Self-AbsorbedChildren, Families, and Health Care Decision MakingClawsCloserCold HitCoping With Difficult PeopleCouple SkillsCruddyDancing in My NuddypantsDivorce PoisonDoing ItDone With The CryingEcstasyEmotional ClaustrophobiaEmotional Fitness for IntimacyEmotional Intelligence at WorkEntwined LivesErotic PassionsEssentials of Premarital CounselingEvery Pot Has a CoverFacts About ADHD ChildrenFamilies Like MineFamilyFamily BoundFamily FirstFear of IntimacyFinal JeopardyFind MeFlashpointFor Lesbian ParentsForgive Your Parents, Heal YourselfGandhi's WayGeorgia Under WaterGetting over Getting MadGetting the Love You WantGetting the Love You Want Audio CompanionGirl in the MirrorGirl StuffGoing Home without Going CrazyHandbook of AttachmentHandbook of Counseling and Psychotherapy with Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual ClientsHappiness Sold SeparatelyHard to GetHe's Just Not That Into YouHealing ConversationsHollow KidsHot ButtonsHot Chocolate for the Mystical LoverHow Families Still MatterHow to Create Chemistry with AnyoneHow to Give Her Absolute PleasureHow to Handle a Hard-To-Handle KidHow to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do If You Can'tI am Not Sick I Don't Need Help!I Don't Know How She Does ItI Hate You-Don't Leave MeI Only Say This Because I Love YouI'm OK, You're My ParentsIn the Mood, AgainInside the American CoupleIntrusive ParentingIt's Called a Breakup Because It's BrokenIt's Love We Don't UnderstandJakarta MissingKeeping Passion AliveKeeping Your Child in MindLet's Get This StraightLiberation's ChildrenLife's WorkLikely to DieLove JunkieLove SickLove Times ThreeLove Works Like ThisLoving Someone With Bipolar DisorderLoving Someone with Borderline Personality DisorderLust in TranslationMaking the RunMaking the RunManic DepressionMars and Venus - Starting Over.Mating in CaptivityMom, Dad, I'm Gay.MotherstylesMurder in the InnMysterious CreaturesNecessary NoiseOdd Girl OutOpenOpening to Love 365 Days a YearOphelia's MomOrgasmsOur Journey Through High Functioning Autism and Asperger SyndromeOut of the DustParenting and the Child's WorldParenting on the GoParenting Your Out-Of-Control TeenagerParents and Digital TechnologyParents Do Make a DifferencePassionate MarriagePlanet JanetPreventing Misbehavior in ChildrenProblem Child or Quirky Kid?Raising AmericaRaising ElijahRaising Kids in an Age of TerrorRaising Kids in the 21st CenturyRaising Resilient ChildrenRay's a LaughRelationship RescueRespect-Me RulesRomantic IntelligenceRoom For JSecrets of a Passionate MarriageSelf-NurtureSelfish, Shallow, and Self-AbsorbedSex Addiction: The Partner's PerspectiveShidduch CrisisSickenedSingleSlut!Socrates in LoveSomeone Like YouSong for EloiseSpecial SiblingsSpiritually Healing the Indigo Children (and Adult Indigos, Too!)Staying Connected to Your TeenagerStaying Sane When Your Family Comes to VisitStop Arguing with Your KidsStop SignsStop Walking on EggshellsStop Walking on EggshellsStrong, Smart, & BoldSummer of the SkunksSurviving a Borderline ParentTaking Charge of AngerTelling SecretsThank You for Being Such a PainThe Anti-Romantic ChildThe AwakeningThe Bastard on the Couch CDThe Birth of PleasureThe Brief Couples Therapy Homework Planner with DiskThe Bully Action GuideThe Burden of SympathyThe Commercialization of Intimate LifeThe CorrectionsThe Couples Psychotherapy Treatment PlannerThe DisappearanceThe Dream BearerThe Educated ParentThe Emotional RevolutionThe Employee Assistance Treatment PlannerThe EpidemicThe Ethics of ParenthoodThe Ethics of the FamilyThe Gay Baby BoomThe Good DivorceThe Guide for International Intercultural Couples and Families Intercultural MarriageThe Healing Journey for CouplesThe Hostile HospitalThe Husbands and Wives ClubThe Inside Story on Teen GirlsThe Introvert AdvantageThe Little FriendThe Love HexagonThe Moral Intelligence of ChildrenThe Neuroscience of Human RelationshipsThe New I DoThe Normal OneThe Nurture AssumptionThe OASIS Guide to Asperger SyndromeThe Other ParentThe Psychology of Parental ControlThe Real Rules for GirlsThe Reflective ParentThe Right to Be ParentsThe Secret Lives of WivesThe Spider and the BeeThe StepsThe Story of My FatherThe Velveteen FatherThe Virgin BlueThe Visitation HandbookThe Whole ChildTo Have and To Hurt:Two Is EnoughUnderstanding MarriageUnderstanding the Borderline MotherUnhitchedUp in FlamesWe've Got IssuesWhat about the KidsWhat Goes UpWhat Is Secular Humanism?What It Means to Love YouWhat Our Children Teach UsWhen a Parent is DepressedWhen Mars Women DateWhen Someone You Love Is BipolarWhen Someone You Love Is DepressedWhy Are You So Sad?Will You, Won't You?WomanWorking With Emotional IntelligenceWorried All the TimeYes, Your Teen Is Crazy!
would throw the dolphin a fish whenever she did something the trainer wanted
her to. But every once in a while … the trainer would throw a fish into the
water for no apparent reason… because dolphins need a free fish once in a
is not the morose fatalistic book the title belied. It is charming, sensible
and a rather lovely read. It is more anecdotal than scientific. There is
nothing statistical, evidence-based or conclusive in what could pass for a
memoir of an avuncular soul who is perhaps just a little wiser than most of us.
Though written by a child psychiatrist practicing in Berkeley (perhaps an
oxymoron), it compiles more of Robert Shaw's observations – they are not case
studies - in strip mall restaurants and the beachside than large datasets with
worthy conclusions. Throughout the book, Shaw steers clear of coming across as
a holier-than-thou televangelist, purveyor of the singular way of child craft,
an admirable feat given the mushrooming of this ilk of late. As most of the
material is in the first person singular, Wood's contribution is presumed
A fairly broad
spectrum of issues is handled, from nipple confusion and revolving group child
care to television addiction and the valueless society we inhabit. This is not
a How-To book; it is a DIY book that tells you to intuit what you think is best
for your child and run with it, because that nearly always works. This is a
reassuring book for first parents who are nearly annihilated by the sheer
volume of unsolicited advice hemorrhaging from well meaning friends and, worse,
The tasting menu
features early childhood development, bonding and childcare, training and
teaching small children, handling upsetting behavior, childhood education and
the dangers of the media upon children. Everyone, as I did, will probably
disagree with at least a couple of the polemic (non-parental home care,
recurrent reference to Columbine which goes nowhere) but we still love the
common sense fountainhead Shaw appears to possess, not as common as we should
like to think. Permissive parenting is rearing its ugly head all over the
landscape and we are actively witnessing the fallout. This is one of those rare
books about parenting that is reassuring, calming and hopeful. I felt the need
to point-click and post copies to new parents I really care about, just in time
for the Holidays.
Read more in:
Coles R: The Moral
Intelligence of Children: How to Raise a Moral Child.240 pp. Plume Books.
Hymowitz KS: Liberation's Children – Parents and
Kids in a Postmodern Age. 224 pp. Ivan R Dee. August 2003
Hymowitz KS: Ready or Not: What Happens when We
Treat Children as Small Adults. 296 pp. Encounter Books. November 2000
Newberger EH: The Men
They Will Become: The Nature and Nurture of Male Character. 384pp. Perseus Publishing.
Sells, SP: Parenting
your Out-of-Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim
Love. 368 pp. St. Martin's Press. October 2002
Stuart T, Bostrom C:
Children at Promise – 9 Principles to Help Kids Thrive in an At-Risk World. 192
pp. Jossey-Bass. August 2003
Taylor J: Positive
Pushing: How to Raise a Successful and Happy Child. 304 pp. Hyperion April 2003
Winn M: The Plug-In
Drug: Television, Computers and Family Life. 332 pp. Penguin Books. April 2002
2004 Sundeep Nayak
Dr. Nayak is an Assistant Professor of
Clinical Radiology in the University of California School of Medicine San
Francisco and his interests include mental health, medical ethics, and gender
studies. A voracious reader and intrepid epicure, he enjoys his keyboards too
much. He believes the children are our future so you should teach them well and
let them lead the way.
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