Childhood Disorders
Resources

 email page    print page

All Topic Reviews
12 and HoldingA Guide to Asperger SyndromeA Lethal InheritanceA Mother's Courage: Talking Back to AutismA Parent's Guide to Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning AutismA Special EducationA Toss Of The DiceA Tribe ApartA User Guide to the GF/CF Diet for Autism, Asperger Syndrome and AD/HDA Walk in the Rain With a BrainABC of Eating DisordersADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your LifeADHD Grown UpADHD in the Schools: Assessment and Intervention StrategiesADHD NationAdolescence and Body ImageAdolescent DepressionAggression and Antisocial Behavior in Children and AdolescentsAll Alone in the UniverseAlpha GirlsAmericaAnother PlanetAntisocial Behavior in Children and AdolescentsAsperger Syndrome and Your ChildAsperger Syndrome, Adolescence, and IdentityAsperger's and GirlsAssessment of Childhood DisordersAttention Deficit DisorderAttention-Deficit Hyperactivity DisorderAttention-Deficit/Hyperactivity DisorderAutism - The Eighth Colour of the RainbowAutism and MeAutism's False ProphetsAutistic Spectrum DisordersBad GirlBeen There, Done That? DO THIS!Before I DieBetween Two WorldsBeyond AppearanceBig Mouth & Ugly GirlBipolar ChildrenBipolar Disorder in Childhood and Early AdolescenceBipolar DisordersBipolar KidsBlackwell Handbook of Childhood Cognitive DevelopmentBody Image, Eating Disorders, and ObesityBody Image, Eating Disorders, and Obesity in YouthBoy AloneBrain-Based Therapy with Children and AdolescentsBreaking PointBreathing UnderwaterBringing Up ParentsBullying and TeasingBullying PreventionBut I Love HimCan't Eat, Won't EatCaring for a Child with AutismCatalystChild and Adolescent PsychiatryChild and Adolescent Psychological DisordersChild and Adolescent PsychopathologyChild NeuropsychologyChild Well-BeingChildren and SexualityChildren Changed by TraumaChildren with Emerald EyesChildren with Sexual Behavior ProblemsChildren, Sexuality and SexualizationChildren’s Dreaming and the Development of Consciousness City of OneCommunication Issues In Autism And Asperger SyndromeConcepts of NormalityConcise Guide to Child and Adolescent PsychiatryConquering the Beast WithinConsuming KidsContesting ChildhoodCount Us InCrackedCrossesCutCyber-Safe Kids, Cyber-Savvy TeensDamageDemystifying the Autistic ExperienceDescartes' BabyDilemmas of DesireDirtyDisconnected KidsDoing SchoolDon't Bother Me Mom--I'm Learning!Don't Pick On MeDying to Be ThinEarly Intervention Programs and PoliciesEating an ArtichokeEducating Children With AutismEight Stories UpElijah's CupEmerald City BluesEmotional and Behavioral Problems of Young ChildrenEpilepticEthical Dilemmas in PediatricsEvery Girl Tells a StoryExiting NirvanaExploiting ChildhoodEye ContactFacing BipolarFamily HistoryFast GirlsForever YoungFreaks, Geeks and Asperger SyndromeFreewillFrictionGirl CultureGirl in the MirrorGirlfightingGirlhoodGirlWiseHandbook of Evidence-Based Therapies for Children and AdolescentsHandbook of Preschool Mental HealthHealing ADDHelping Children Cope With Disasters and TerrorismHelping Hyperactive KidsHelping Parents, Youth, and Teachers Understand Medications for Behavioral and Emotional ProblemsHelping Students Overcome Depression and AnxietyHelping Teens Who CutHollow KidsHope's BoyHow Infants Know MindsHow to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do If You Can'tHurry Down SunshineI Am Not Joey PigzaIdentifying Hyperactive ChildrenIf Your Adolescent Has an Eating DisorderIn the Company of CraziesIncorporating Social Goals in the ClassroomIntegrated YogaIntrusive ParentingIssues for Families, Schools and CommunitiesJake RileyJoey Pigza Loses ControlJoey Pigza Swallowed the KeyJuvenile-Onset SchizophreniaKim: Empty InsideLearning and Behavior Problems in Asperger SyndromeLearning Disorders and Disorders of the Self in Children and AdolescentsLearning Outside the Lines Let Kids Be KidsLiberation's ChildrenLife As We Know ItLisa, Bright and DarkLook Me in the EyeLoserLove and SexLove That DogMad at SchoolMaking ADD WorkMaking American BoysManicMastering Anger and AggressionMaverick MindMedicating ChildrenMind FieldsMind to MindMommy I'm Still in HereMore Than a LabelMy Flesh and BloodMyths of ChildhoodNew Hope for Children and Teens with Bipolar DisorderNew Look at ADHD: Inhibition, Time, and Self-ControlNo Child Left DifferentNo Two AlikeNon-Drug Treatments for ADHDNot Much Just Chillin'NurtureShockOdd Girl OutOdd Girl Speaks OutOne Hot SecondOne in ThirteenOphelia SpeaksOphelia's MomOur Journey Through High Functioning Autism and Asperger SyndromeOut of the WoodsOvercoming ADHDOvercoming School AnxietyParenting a Child Who Has Intense EmotionsParenting Children With ADHDParenting Your Out-Of-Control TeenagerPediatric PsychopharmacologyPediatric PsychopharmacologyPediatric PsychopharmacologyPeople with HyperactivityPhobic and Anxiety Disorders in Children and AdolescentsPINSPlease Don't Label My ChildPraising Boys WellPraising Girls WellProblem Child or Quirky Kid?Problem GirlsPsychotherapy for Children and AdolescentsPsychotherapy with Children and AdolescentsPurgeRaising a Moody ChildRaising BlazeRaising Generation RxRaising Resilient ChildrenReady or Not, Here Life ComesReclaiming Our ChildrenRedressing the EmperorReducing Adolescent RiskRemembering Our ChildhoodResilience in ChildrenRethinking ADHDReweaving the Autistic TapestryRitalin is Not the Answer Action GuideRitalin NationRunning on RitalinRunning with ScissorsRutter's Child and Adolescent PsychiatrySeeing EzraSex and the American TeenagerSex, Therapy, and KidsSexting and Young PeopleSexual Teens, Sexual MediaShort Term 12Should I Medicate My Child?SmashedSnapshots of AutismSongs Without WordsSophie Spikey Has a Very Big ProblemSpeakStaying Connected to Your TeenagerStick FigureStraight Talk about Psychiatric Medications for KidsStraight Talk about Psychological Testing for KidsStraight Talk about Your Child's Mental HealthStrange SonStudent DepressionSuicidal Behavior in Children and AdolescentsSurvival Strategies for Parenting Children with Bipolar DisorderSurviving OpheliaTaking Charge of ADHD, Revised EditionTaming the Troublesome ChildTemple GrandinThe American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook Of Child And Adolescent PsychiatryThe Anti-Romantic ChildThe Bipolar ChildThe Boy Who Loved WindowsThe Boy Who Was Raised as a DogThe Buffalo TreeThe Bully Action GuideThe Bully, the Bullied, and the BystanderThe Burn JournalsThe Color of AbsenceThe Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-TimeThe Depressed ChildThe Developing MindThe Dragons of AutismThe Einstein SyndromeThe EpidemicThe Evolution of ChildhoodThe Explosive ChildThe Eyes of van GoghThe Fasting GirlThe Field of the DogsThe Flight of a DoveThe Hidden Gifts of the Introverted ChildThe Horse BoyThe Identity TrapThe Inner World of a Suicidal YouthThe Inside Story on Teen GirlsThe Kindness of StrangersThe Last Normal ChildThe Little MonsterThe Medicated ChildThe Myth of LazinessThe New Gay TeenagerThe Nurture AssumptionThe OASIS Guide to Asperger SyndromeThe Other ParentThe Perversion of YouthThe Philosophy of AutismThe Psychoanalytic Study of the ChildThe Real Truth About Teens and SexThe Ride TogetherThe Rise and Fall of the American TeenagerThe Science of ADHDThe Sex Lives of TeenagersThe Survival Guide for Kids With LD*The Unhappy ChildThen Again, Maybe I Won'tTherapy with ChildrenThings I Have to Tell YouThings Tom LikesThrough the Glass WallThumbsuckerTotally WiredTouching Spirit BearTrauma in the Lives of ChildrenTreating ADHD and Comorbid DisordersTreatment of Childhood DisordersTwistedUnder the Wolf, Under the DogUnhappy TeenagersUnstrange MindsWastedWe've Got IssuesWeather Reports from the Autism FrontWhat about the KidsWhat in the World Are Your Kids Doing Online?What Works for Whom?What Would Joey Do?What's Happening to My Body? Book for BoysWhat's Happening to My Body? Book for GirlsWhat's Happening to Tom?When Nothing Matters AnymoreWhen Your Child Has an Eating DisorderWhose America?Why Don't Students Like SchoolWill's ChoiceWinnicott On the ChildWorried All the TimeYou Hear MeYoung Minds in Social WorldsYoung People and Mental HealthYour Child, Bully or Victim?

Related Topics
Raising Resilient ChildrenReview - Raising Resilient Children
Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child
by Sam Goldstein & Robert Brooks
McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books, 2002
Review by Shelly Marshall, B.S., CSAC
Jun 10th 2004 (Volume 8, Issue 24)

There are no surprises in Raising Resilient Children. This is due in part to the fact that the authors take credit for teaching parents how to "create" resilience in children so they can "cope effectively with stress, pressure, and everyday challenges" and present their work as if other professionals and parents somehow missed this as the goal in healthy families. The authors state that "parent availability, love, consistency, and discipline" are the ingredients parents need so their kids develop resilience.  

  Goldstein and Brooks admit in Chapter One that "hundreds of books and dozens of magazines offer parents guidance and advice" but that incorporating "resilience" based on scientific study is new. This might be true depending on what you define "resilience" as. The authors state that "parent availability, love, consistency and discipline" are the ingredients parents need so their children are resilient, yet originally resilience in children meant those kids who were raised in horrendous circumstances emerging relatively whole while being raised without "parent availability, love, consistency and discipline." A cursory search of "children and resilience" in PubMed did reveal that indeed the term "resilience" has been so overused that now any maladjusted child from an imperfect background (whose is perfect dare I ask?) is considered at-risk and any child who does well from the same imperfect background is considered resilient. It's a pity because I had high expectations for this book and its message.

  Without wanting to be harsh, I'm going to be harsh. The authors state that their program "offers a different approach" by claming to articulate resilient qualities, then quoting the research behind their ideas and providing the parent with a concrete strategy. It seems that Goldstein and Brooks have been deprived of the exposure to voluminous arrays of seminars, video, documentaries, workshops, and more on good sound parenting. I, as a parent, have not--and have endured the burden of guilt embedded in my mother courtesy of Dr. Spock extending to my exposure to Skinnerian and other psychosocial models taught in college about child-rearing, to my daughter's threat of being thrown in jail for the slightest slap directed at her rug-rats. There is no shortage of good advice based on research as the authors entail.   

Our society has been trying for 35 years to find just the right combination of parental guidelines and firmness tempered with love that will produce the perfect, happy-healthy, (or in all honestly-compliant) offspring. Yet we remain awash in Columbines, drive-bys, drug overdoses, delinquency, drop-outs, and juvenile crime. Can it honestly be that everyone has gotten it wrong for so long until now? Chapter one implies all this.

  Resilience is the "presence of adaptive qualities," they point out, "not the absence of certain risk factors." Mainly through the work of Emmy Werner and Ruth Smith, we (parents and professionals) have learned a lot about what resiliency is and what kind of child exhibits it. "The results of the study speak to an innate "self-righting" tendency in human beings," writes Deirdre Ah Shene, AADAC Writer-Editer in Mar 1999 in her essay, Resiliency: A Vision of Hope. "Some protective factors are inherent in the nature of resilient people. Werner and Smith noted that even in infancy there was something different about the high-risk children who never developed serious problems. They were active, affectionate, good-natured infants, alert and autonomous toddlers." Still we (parents and professionals) hope that we can instill this "resiliency" given the right set of guidelines and Goldstein and Brooks attempt it in this book/training course. My contention with the authors is simply that they act as if their work is concrete (albeit more scientific than others) yet they are not presenting anything that hasn't been beating on the parental drums for a very long and unsuccessful time.

  Chapter Two describes the Seven Guideposts so that the parent can "Appreciate each child's unique road" and raise them in a consistent manner. But who among us hasn't heard: be empathetic, give positive messages, positive discipline (and if I hear one more expert tell us that discipline come from 'disciple' meaning to teach, I will throw up), implanting problem solving skills, loving your child in that all-exclusive  special way, learning from their mistakes and reinforcing their islands of competence? Anything new here? The "islands of competence" thing sounded fresh until it was loosely defined as 'don't down grade the child for their weaknesses; compliment them for their successes.'

  I think parents already get these things. Yes, there are the drunkards, the totally incompetent and selfish who holler at the kids, beat and abuse them, but they won't be reading this, or any other "improve your parenting skills" type work. Chapter Three is simply an overview of how to present this material.

  Section Two begins the curriculum for the professional to train to parent. It is detailed and clean. I like this; it is user friendly. However, the curriculum again is so overdone, you could call it Spock Shock. Only new people to the planet could not have heard these suggestions. Even the parenting quiz is so simple only a pre-parental high school student might be fooled into choosing a wrong answer. Example: What is the best way to deal with mistakes? Should you "serve as a model for dealing with mistakes and setbacks" or should you "ignore mistakes?" It doesn't' get more complicated than that.

  In Week Two of training, we learn how to show empathy. Basically this means, don't be a drill sergeant and let our kids know you know how they feel. In Week Three, we are promised a look at how to change the words of parenting to stop the negative scripts. Looks promising again. I know how important labels and the words we use shape the way we think. Disappointment again. No words are given as examples to use and you are told to NOT use words like stubborn or lazy! We are told to evaluate and fix our own scripts. Why am I reading this again? "If at first you don't succeed, try again." ~ A quote from Week Three's lesson.

  Fast forward through the check list for problem solving (Week Five); help parents understand the role that love plays (Week Six); learn from your mistakes (Week Seven); Week Nine of the curriculum is a review of all the points presented in the preceding work..

  Good points: it's clean, it's popular, it's brief, it's sound advice, it's a good course for parenting 101 to be offered in the junior/senior year of high school. And as the authors stress, we want to learn from our mistakes. Nice try guys. Now move beyond the basics and tell us something we honestly don/t know.

 

© 2004 Shelly Marshall

 

Shelly Marshall, B.S., CSAC is an Adolescent Chemical Dependency Specialist and Researcher. You can visit her site at www.day-by-day.org 


Share

Welcome to MHN's unique book review site Metapsychology. We feature over 7900 in-depth reviews of a wide range of books and DVDs written by our reviewers from many backgrounds and perspectives. We update our front page weekly and add more than thirty new reviews each month. Our editor is Christian Perring, PhD. To contact him, use one of the forms available here.

Can't remember our URL? Access our reviews directly via 'metapsychology.net'


Metapsychology Online reviewers normally receive gratis review copies of the items they review.
Metapsychology Online receives a commission from Amazon.com for purchases through this site, which helps us send review copies to reviewers. Please support us by making your Amazon.com purchases through our Amazon links. We thank you for your support!


Join our e-mail list!: Metapsychology New Review Announcements: Sent out monthly, these announcements list our recent reviews. To subscribe, click here.

Interested in becoming a book reviewer for Metapsychology? Currently, we especially need thoughtful reviewers for books in fiction, self-help and popular psychology. To apply, write to our editor.

Metapsychology Online Reviews

Promote your Page too

Metapsychology Online Reviews
ISSN 1931-5716